My vacation.
Aug. 11th, 2004 12:05 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vinniebatmanWell, on the 2nd, we left siskiyou county to visit Napa. We left late because we had to wait for my perscription to get filled. The we stopped to pick up my grandma, but she had to eat so we had to wait for her. Finally we got to Napa at seven pm. The next day we went shopping, and on Wednesday the fourth I took a ferry to San Fransisco. I got to hang with L for a day before going to Woodland. I took a cab to meet up with L, and my cabbie was this irate Eastern European. L and I went to dinner at a Polish retaurant, and then went to a goth club, the DNA Lounge, and that was fun. I got drunk and we sat around mocking people. It was good times. And a hot guy talked to me while he was waiting for his friend to finish talking to L. Woodland sucked and rocked. It rocked because I got to see Bethany and her sister Leah. But I tried to talk with my aunt about my depression, but she didn't really listen. It bothered me. Then last night we picked up my little cousin Braydon at the Sacramento Airport. We got home at two in the morning. And today I am back at work. Yay for me.
And here comes the part that makes me feel shitty. I felt good today, but then I started to beel depressed, as usual. I keep getting down. Then I was talking to Corinna and she met this guy that is pretty much perfect for her, and they really hit it off. And I'm so happy for her, but at the same time, its odd. I'm happy for her, but knowing that someone out there is happy makes me feel worse, like someone kicked my in the gut. I feel wierd when other people are romanitcally happy, because I never get that, and it shouldn't be a big deal, but it is. And I hate that. I just keep feeling shitty,and I'm getting really tired about and of feeling this way. I can totally see why someone would want to kill themselves. I mean, I understand that it sucks for those left behind, but if you feel shitty all the time, then whats wrong with not feeling that way anymore? I'm not that depressed, but I'm getting tired of feel shitty. I'm tired of hiding tears and pretending everythings okay.
And here comes the part that makes me feel shitty. I felt good today, but then I started to beel depressed, as usual. I keep getting down. Then I was talking to Corinna and she met this guy that is pretty much perfect for her, and they really hit it off. And I'm so happy for her, but at the same time, its odd. I'm happy for her, but knowing that someone out there is happy makes me feel worse, like someone kicked my in the gut. I feel wierd when other people are romanitcally happy, because I never get that, and it shouldn't be a big deal, but it is. And I hate that. I just keep feeling shitty,and I'm getting really tired about and of feeling this way. I can totally see why someone would want to kill themselves. I mean, I understand that it sucks for those left behind, but if you feel shitty all the time, then whats wrong with not feeling that way anymore? I'm not that depressed, but I'm getting tired of feel shitty. I'm tired of hiding tears and pretending everythings okay.
