[personal profile] vinniebatman

Title: A Royal Pain in the Ass, Part Four
Author: vinniebatman aka batmanvinnie
Fandom/Spoilers: SGA AU.  Contains characters from the show, but that's about where it ends. 
Pairings: McShep
Prompt: Written for the birthday of one of my favoritest people in the world, [info]Suki_blue !  I heart you...
Rating/Warnings:  Adult!  Finally!  Hey, it's a present, and what says "I love you" better than gay pron?
  If I did own SGA, God, the amount of naked hot gay lovin' would be overwhelming!  But I don't, so let us mourn appropriately.   
  Prince Rodney must complete a quest in order to be named King
  This will probably be the longest part of the story.  And I apologize for part three, which was kind of lame.  It was problematic, but I had to get it written.  I feel part four makes up for it in characterization and sex.  Also thanks to [info]mecurtin for her suggestions regarding John.  They helped!  Also, I have no knowledge of mining, so please ignore any glaring errors you come across.  Or give me some suggestions. 
Beta:  None
Previous Parts Can Be Found HERE
* * * * * * * * *  


Three days after the plants died and a week since meeting the mountain fighters, Rodney awoke to the sound of yelling.  He quickly scrambled to his feet, only to be felled by the villainous blanket wrapped around his shins.  Radek was standing, tense and twitching while pressed against the cave wall.  Only Ford was prepared for whatever was happening and was armed, having woken first.  He stood ready, loaded crossbow in hand. 

"What's going on?" Rodney asked, untangling his legs. 

"Dunno. Only one way to find out, though," Ford explained with a grin and a shrug.  He then moved stealthily out of their cave and into the main passage.

"Rodney, what do we do?" Radek whispered, his hair wild from sleep. 

Rodney cast his eyes about, frantically searching for a weapon.  His eyes finally landed on the heavy metal pan Stackhouse had used for cooking during the trip.  He picked it up and moved toward the entrance. Looking back at Radek, he watched as the smaller scientist picked up a heavy book.  They nodded at each other, then followed the path Ford had taken.  They moved down the passage, weapons raised and muscles tensed in preparation of battle.  But when they reached the main cavern, the sight was unexpected.  Ford, Cadman, Stackhouse and Sumner, along with all the mountain fighters who'd been out with Ronon and Evan, were laughing and cheering, celebrating.  Teyla and the others were there as well, all looking as though they'd tumbled out of bed.  And John... was shirtless.  And laughing.  John was shirtless and laughing. 

Wow, Rodney thought, he looks quite... wow.  Shaking his head, Rodney swallowed hard as he returned his focus to the group. He forced his gaze away from John and landed on Ronon.  Who was...smiling.

"Oh God, Ronon is smiling.  Why is he smiling?  Is that okay?  Did he finally snap?" Rodney asked, leaning toward Radek.  He'd meant to whisper, but his voice still drew the gaze of everyone in the main cavern.  John's eyebrows raised and everyone else chuckled. Except for Ronon, who was barreling toward Rodney.  Rodney closed his eyes and tensed in preparation of an attack.  But the attack never came.  After a few seconds of silence, he slowly opened his eyes and found the giant Satedan warrior kissing Radek, his large hands cradling Radek's face.  Clearing his throat, Rodney scooted away from the pair, cheeks flushing red at the couple's moans.

"Wow; did not see that coming," John muttered.  Teyla's eyes widened.

"Really?  I'm beginning to fear you've hit your head one too many times."

"Funny, Teyla, really funny," John snarked.

Ronon and Radek finally separated, gasping for breath.

Radek looked up with a dreamy smile on his lips.  "That was very nice.  But why is everyone yelling?"

"It worked," Ronon said, his grin feral and hungry.

"What worked?" Rodney asked.

"The powder from the rock the Guardian gave you," Sumner explained.  "Ronon had a hunch and he liquefied some of the powder and dipped an arrowhead into it.  When he shot a Wraith in the shoulder with it, the Wraith collapsed and died within minutes."

"Huh.  That is good news," Rodney acknowledged.  "So what do we do now?"

Everyone paused, suddenly contemplative.  During the brief lull in conversation, Radek grabbed Ronon by the front of his shirt and dragged him from the cavern. 

"Guess we know what they'll be doing," Ford said, snickering.

"Yes,yes, they'll be having sex.  Unfortunately, I highly doubt one poisoned arrow and them having sex will stop of the other thousands of Wraithout there," Rodney grumbled, flapping his hand in irritation.

"Perhaps we could apply the poison to all of our weapons; it would certainly increase our success," Teyla suggested.

"True,but we don't have very much left.  It wasn't a large amount to start with.  And we don't know how watering the poison down would change the poison's efficacy," Carson offered.

"Well that can't be all of the poison there is," Cadman countered.  "I mean, the powder has to come from somewhere."

"It's surrounded by gray granite," Rodney suddenly said, snapping his fingers. 

"Yes, it is.  Did you just figure that out?" John asked, frowning. 

Carson's eyes widened with sudden understanding. "Oh, I see.  And the color of granite differs depending on the elements surrounding it."

"So granite from different places have different colors," Stackhouse concluded.

"Yes, thank you for dumbing down the obvious," Rodney sneered.  "Now all we have to do is figure out where the specific chemical composition of that granite would be most likely to occur."

"Ronon is very familiar with all of the south lands; he would be the best person to ask," Teyla offered.

No one said anything until Evan finally broke the silence.   

"Okay, so who wants to interrupt Ronon?"

* * * * * * * * * 

As it turned out, no one wanted to interrupt Ronon.  Rodney was fairly certain that if Ronon didn't kill the messenger, Radek would find away.  He was sneaky that way.  But a day later, when the pair finally appeared for food, it also turned out that Ronon only had to study the rock for a few minutes to know where the rock came from.  

The Satedans had once had a small but remarkable culture.  Centuries ago,the warriors had studied and explored the lands that surrounded them, gathering foods and knowledge from all over the continent.  Their small cities had been populated with buildings and statues made from the granite that the Guardian had given Rodney.  And as cruel fortune would have it, the granite only occurred deep in Wraith territory.  Luckily,the Satedans had also drawn extensive maps, the majority of which had survived the ages.  

After a small conference, it was decided that they would go to retrieve more of the poison.  It was also decided that the safety of numbers would be exchanged for stealth on a mission to retrieve more of the poison.  Whoever didn't venture deep into the Wraith Lands would guard the boarder, preparing for whatever would follow.  Only a small team would be going, comprised of John, Ronon, Evan, Sumner, Cadman, Rodney and Radek. 

So nine days after being attacked by Ronon, twenty-nine days after leaving Canada, Rodney was once again embarking on another arduous journey, carrying pickaxes, shovels and hand drills that had been used to expand the caves. They started at dawn, the clouds a shroud that smothered the world in gray.  The winds blew cold, and the group's tension levels increased the further south they went.  John no longer joked, and to Rodney's surprise, Ronon could be even more terse than usual.  The second day,they had stopped at a small stream.  Ronon had tasted the water and declared it clean.  They had all started to fill their water skins when a small Wraith scouting party had come up the hill, apparently planning on doing the same.  John and the other fighters had quickly killed the Wraith, blades dipped in the remainder of the liquid poison.  But whilebattling the Wraith was something the others were accustomed to, Rodney had never seen as Wraith before.  Their pale skin, white hair, and jagged fangs scared him in a primal fashion.  Deep within, Rodney recognized that they were predators and the sight of John fighting them, of seeing the creatures' strength had terrified him.  After thatc lose call, the group had then moved further up in the hills to avoid the remaining raiding parties. 

By the third day, the lands surrounding Rodney and the others were devoid of any colorful plant life, the hillsides dotted only with sickly colored scrub brush,similar to that Carson had in his lab.  The group was high up in the foothills that surrounded the mountain that the granite came from. Before dawn the next morning, the group would head into the quarry that hadn't been used in hundreds of years.  But for the night, they were camped in the foothills near the river that started at the springs deep inside the mountain.  While the Wraith  avoided the mountain(which Rodney attributed to the presence of the poison), a fire wouldstill attract attention.  So they had no camp fire, and their evening meal consisted of only dried meat and water.  Sumner and Lorne were watching over the group, looking out for the Wraith while the others were huddled together, whispering.  Rodney sat against a boulder at one end of the campsite, away from the others, staring up at the stars.  He turned at the sound of a soft scuffing, the weak moonlight barely illuminating John's approaching figure.  John smiled as he sat down next to Rodney, their bodies touching from shoulder to knee.

"Hey McKay," he whispered, "Ready for tomorrow?"

"Doesit matter?" Rodney mumbled.  Despite Rodney's blustering, he knew that the Guardian had sent him for a reason.  And it wasn't just Rodney's life at stake, it was the survival of all humans.  Every year the Wraith grew stronger, pushing harder against the southern countries.

John rested one hand on Rodney's shoulder, the weight and warmth of it somehow reassuring.  "It's okay, buddy; I'll look out for you."

"Too bad I can't do the same," Rodney immediately replied before wincing. "I mean, I can look out for you, but I can't defend you.  I can yell and scream, possibly flail, but that's it.  And you know Ronon will be looking out for Radek." 

"Then it's a good thing we only want you for your brains and not your fighting skills."  John studied him closely, eyes narrowing slightly.  "Besides, I'm a fighter, so I've always known I probably won't live that long," he said,  trailing off.  

"What?  Don't say that," Rodney huffed. 

"What?  Afraid of jinxing me?"

"Of course not, that just superstition.  I just don't like hearing you say that."

"Would you care if I didn't make it?" John asked after a pause, his voice strained and high.

"What?  Of course I would, you're my friend," Rodney hissed, trying to stay quiet.

John nodded and pulled his hand away and began to nervously rub the back of his neck.  "I know.  I just...."

His voice trailed off and he looked into Rodney's eyes.  It was too dark for Rodney to see much, but a knot of tension curled low in his gut. But this knot, this feeling, was different from constant sense of nauseating doom that had been there since leaving Canada. 

"Just what?" Rodney whispered, his cheeks suddenly warm in the dark.

John dropped his hand from his neck and reached out for Rodney with the other.  He gently cupped Rodney's check, thumb brushing against his face.

Rodney's breath caught in his throat, his heart pounding as John slowly leaned toward him before hesitating.  Taking a deep breath, Rodney leaned forward and closed the remaining distance.  Their lips met gently, breath mingling and Rodney could only marvel at the softness of John's lips.  John pulled back a few inches, looking into Rodney's face.  Whatever it was he sought, he found, and John moved closer again, capturing Rodney's lower lip between his own.  Rodney's stomach twisted as he began to feel like he was falling, the loss of control somehow pleasurable.  Reaching out, he clenched John's shoulder with one hand, pressing his lips harder against John's.  At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to devour and be devoured by John. But both knew it was not the right time or place.  As John pulled away, Rodney took a deep breath.  John pressed their foreheads together, his thumb still brushing gently against Rodney's cheek.  They stayed that way for some time, the world falling away.

"You should get some sleep, Rodney," John murmured.

"Yeah, so should you."

Instead of leaving, John settled in beside Rodney, huddling together against the cold.  Under the circumstances, Rodney couldn't find it in himself to be embarrassed about kissing and cuddling John in full view of the others.  Besides, with Radek and Ronon sleeping together under a blanket, Rodney didn't really think anyone cared.  Instead, he listened to John's even breathing in the eerie silence of the night, counting breaths until he slowly fell asleep.

* * * * * * * * * 

The next morning, Rodney awoke to a gentle touch on his cheek.  He opened his eyes to see John smiling down at him, though the expression was unavoidably grim in the gray light of pre-dawn.  Slowly, Rodney stood and stretched, wincing as sore muscles and misaligned vertebrae protested his movements. 

"So, what's the plan?" Rodney asked. 

"Ronon says according the the old maps, there are a series of caves not too far from here that lead to the quarry.  He says we should be able to go unnoticed if we get into the caves before sunup," John explained,handing Rodney some food.

"Oh.  Joy.  More jerky," Rodney grumbled.  "You know, if we don't decimate the Wraith, I'm going to be really angry about my suffering."

"I know, you've suffered so terribly," John shot back, a true grin lighting his face before he turned and joined the others.  Rodney followed and smiled back, pleased to see John's smile.

"Well, I have.  You know, I have a nice, warm home in Canada."

"Of course you do, Rodney."

"And a sister."

"That's nice."

"Oh, and an incredibly soft, perfect bed," Rodney finished wistfully.  John paused and turned to face Rodney, a wicked glint in his eyes as he smiled.

"Now that I would like to see," he murmured.  

Rodney flushed, his mouth opening and closing. He hasn't meant anything sexual by the comment, but now that was all he could think of.

Ohhh... John on my bed.  John naked on my bed.  Oh!  John naked and bent over on my bed, begging and moan-.

"Are we all ready to go?" Sumner asked, dragging Rodney's mind back to the depressingly nonsexual realm of reality.

Everyone grunted and murmured in the affirmative as packs were finished being loaded.  Only a few minutes later, Ronon led them out of the camp.  The climb up to the caves was steep and arduous, but they made it insidejust as the sun was rising.  Once inside, the group was plunged into darkness.  They paused as lanterns were then pulled out and lit, but the rest was brief as Ronon was soon on the move again.  Hours later,they reached the end of a tunnel that looked out over the quarry.  An opening in the mountain just below the quarry let out the waters that started the Pegasus River.  It flowed throughout the south lands and fed into tributaries all through the area.  Everyone stood and stared at the high walls of granite and the barely visible veins of poison threaded throughout.

"Guess we'd better start digging," Evan sighed.  

* * * * * * * * * 

Five hours later, the sun was high and the sky clear.  While the soldier stook turns keeping an eye out for the Wraith, the rest mined for the poison, using axes to chip away at the granite.  Rodney and Radek tried to follow veins of the poison through the rocky ground, looking for larger deposits.  Earlier, the two scientists has tried to help,volunteering to take over using the axes, but that hadn't ended well. Rodney wasn't sure why he and Radek had been banned from using the pickaxes.  And shovels.  And the long hand drill.  It could have been because they had quickly tired and thus accomplished little.  Or because they'd gotten distracted at the sight of Ronon and John (who'd quickly stripped off their shirts) and then nearly killed Sumner when their swings went awry.  Cadman had finally sent them away, declaring the two of them a menace.

No matter the reason, the fighters were mining while scientists studies the ground.  Everyone had expected this mission to be difficult, but for different reasons.  It had been thought that getting through the Wraith lands would be hard, but that once they found the granite, the extraction of the poison would be easy.  But it turned out to be the reverse as the group struggled to expose small veins of poison, getting only small amounts after hours of work.  It was rather disheartening.

Eventually, Radek and Rodney gave up the ground search, the ban on using tools keeping them from success.

"I feel so useless," Rodney grumbled.

"Me as well," Radek sighed.  "They are all working very hard, but we just sit."

"I know!  The Guardian must have had a reason for us to come!  Or me, at least."

"Maybe she is evil," Radek theorized.

"Maybe she's really a Wraith spy."

"Maybe she is in cahoots with your cousin."

"Radek, did you just use the word cahoots?"

"Maybe I did."

"Maybe you guys should do something useful," Cadman suggested, her voice loud, "Instead of just sitting there."

Radek and Rodney glanced at each other.  

Raising an eyebrow, Cadman walked over to where they'd all tossed their packs and pulled out their water skins.

"Here," she said, tossing them at the two men.  "Why don't you go to the river and fill them."

"Ah, excellent, a job truly worthy of our intellect," Rodney mumbled.  "Well, yours, maybe."

"You continue with this line of talking, I'll tell your sister," Radek shot back.

"Oh please, like I'm really afraid of her."

"I'll tell the Guardian."

"Oh yes, because we've how powerful and effective she is.  She gave us a damn rock!   She could have at least told us about the poison, saved me some worrying" Rodney groused.

"I'll tell Ronon," Radek countered.

Rodney froze momentarily.

"Okay, that's actually a good threat," he conceded.  "Does this mean I have to be nice to you?"

"Don't worry, I wouldn't require that.  Mostly because I don't think you could actually do that."

The scientists continued to bicker as they made their way out of the quarry and down the hill to the river.  Rodney and Radek both crouched into the shallows and began filling the water skins.

"Huh, strange," Radek said.


"The foliage.  Is mostly scrub brush all around mountain, same as plants the poison killed.  But near quarry, is none."

"That's not strange, that's expected."  Rodney frowned and glanced up at the hillside.  "There's no scrub brush at the top of the hill, and at the mouth of the river..," he said, trailing off.  Further down the river, probably close to a mile down the hill, the scrub brush started growing again, choking out the grasses.  "It makes sense; during rainy season,small amounts of the poison run off of hill and into the water, and kills the scrub brush before the poison is too diluted."

Rodney waded further into the water, staring up at the cliff the quarry sat on.  "I wonder how far...."

"Thirty meters," Radek murmured eying the distance from the top of the quarry to the mouth of the river.  Together, they slogged through the icyw ater and into the cave, the roar of the water growing louder.  Almost forty meters in from the mouth of the cave, the water rushed down in a large waterfall, falling from a height well above that of the quarry.   

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Radek?" Rodney asked, grinning as he turned to the smaller man. 

"If you are thinking of explosions, then yes," Radek replied, matching Rodey's grin with one of his own.

Laughing madly, the two ran from the cave, trying not to slip as they ran out and up the hill.  They arrived back in the quarry soaking wet and panting.

"Oh God; you guys fell in and all you had to do was get water?" Cadman asked, her voice filled with exasperation and love.

Trying to catch their breath, Rodney and Radek looked up with matching grins.

"This can't be good," Sumner sighed.

"What?  Why?" John asked.

"It's a fairly popular story back in our capital city," Sumner explained. "The last time those two grinned like that, they destroyed a wing of the castle and nearly killed themselves."

"What are you planning?" Ronon asked, face stern.

"Blowing up the quarry," Rodney panted.

"River starts above quarry," Radek explained.

"And the water will run over the rubble-."

"And transfer the poison into water-."

"Thus poisoning the river and killing the Wraith!" Rodney finished with a grin.

"Okay, while that is a frightening yet compelling idea, we didn't exactly pack any dynamite," John said.

"Don't worry, we can make some," Radek assured him.

Ronon's eyebrows arched.  "You can make explosives?"

"Uh, yeah," Rodney confirmed frowning slightly at the doubt in Ronon's voice.  "Of course we can.  We are scientists."

"And you brought supplies just in case you need to make a bomb?" Lorne asked.

"Yes, yes we did," Radek answered.

"Anything we can do to help?" Laura asked, watching as Rodney and Radek began pulling small leather pouches and a long, thin fuse out of their packs.

The scientists glanced at each other with apprehension, clutching the explosive materials to their chests.

"I trust you less with this than you trust us with pick ax," Radek muttered.

Rodney flapped his hand, dismissing the soldiers.  "Yeah, go do something useful, like finding a deep crack in the rock and then drilling into it.  We need it deep, really deep."

He then turned away and began talking rapidly with Radek.

"I think we were just dismissed," Sumner said with a chuckle. 

John and the others spent the next hour digging into a vein of the poison,cracking and chipping away at the rock around it.  Eventually, they hit a wide vein and began drilling until they had narrow hole that went down a few meters.

Rodney and Radek came over, carrying a bowl of black powder.

"Is this deep enough?" Sumner asked.

"It should be," Radek muttered.  "The powder is threaded through out the hillside and is not dense."

"The blast will hopefully shake loose the areas the powder holds together. And if it doesn't work, we'll have enough black powder for second blast," Rodney added.

"Okay, so what do we do now?" John asked.

"Get all of our stuff down the mountain, away from the river," Rodney began.  "Then Radek and I will pour the powder down, feed in a fuse,cover that with sand and tamp it down to pack in the powder."

"Then?" Ronon asked.

"Then we light the fuse and run like hell," Rodney finished, giving them a weak smile.

John and the others followed Rodney's orders, and moments later, the soldiers were waiting further down the mountain in a copse of trees,watching the small, distant figures of Radek and Rodney scuttled around the quarry.  The two figures then crouched low to the ground,apparently working.  A few seconds later, Radek and Rodney were running, scrambling down the mountain.  As they neared the trees, a hollow pop sounded, followed by a small puff of dust blowing into the air.  Rodney and Radek turned to face it.

"Damn, guess it didn't work," Rodney said, his face down turned and disheartened.

"Well, you said we have enough for another try," John said.  "We'll just go and-."

John fell silent as a low rumble started, growing in strength as the ground began to tremble.  They watched in awe as the quarry began to collapse,large chunks of granite tumbling into the water as the side of the mountain began to fall in on itself, revealing several large areas of the poison.  A section of rock high up on the mountain gave way as a stream of water shot out, followed by another section falling away. Soon the entire river began to flow out over the remains of the quarry,washing over the poison.

"Wow," Lorne said slowly.  "Remind me to never piss you guys off."

* * * * * * * * * 

The journey out of the mountains was quiet.  Along the way, they ran across several groups of dead Wraith, their bodies dessicated and hands clawing at their throats.  After a day, the reached the hidden camp where Teyla and the others were waiting.  Rather than staying there, the tired group continued on to the nearby town of Mountain Springs, the southernmost city.

Flushed and thrilled from the victory,the quick trip exhausted them all.  When they arrived at the town's local tavern, the victorious group fell upon the warm food like a swarm of locusts.  Rodney ate quickly before dashing up to his room, ready for sleep.

From his small but clean room, Rodney could hear the celebrating downstairs.  Like the others, Rodney was relieved that almost all the Wraith had been killed.  But he wasn't a soldier by any stretch of the imagination, and the past several weeks had taken their toll on him.  A bath had been brought up for him (which he suspected was Radek's doing) and Rodney wasted no time in stripping down and getting in.  The warmth had soaked into his body, a blissful lassitude stealing away what little desire he'd originally had to visit the others downstairs.  As he relaxed, he emptied his mind and listened to the sounds surrounding him.  He could hear shouting and laughter, but he paid it no mind as he began to clean, scrubbing at his skin and hair with a bar of soap he'd brought with him.  Once Rodney felt he'd sufficiently scrubbed the dirt from himself, he reached for a pitcher beside the bath and rinsed the soap from his head and torso. He was just pouring the second pitcher when someone began banging at his door.

"Go away!" Rodney huffed.

The banging continued.

"Rodney, come out and play," John's drawling voice teased.

Rodney rolled his eyes, a smile quirking his lips.  He should have been annoyed, but it was John at the door, a thought that sent his stomach flipping.  Standing, he hurriedly grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around his lower body before rushing over to the door and unbolting it.  Opening it wide, he stepped back to allow John entrance.

John didn't walk in but instead stood stock-still, his eyes roving up and down Rodney's body. 

"Uh, John?" Rodney started after a few seconds of silence.  He felt uncomfortable, standing practically nude with his pale body on display.

Rodney's words seemed to shake John from his stupor.

"Yeah, I, was, uh, going to drag you downstairs, force you to be sociable,"John mumbled, his eyes glazed as they fixed on Rodney's chest. 

Had he not needed at least one hand to keep the blanket up around his hips, Rodney would have crossed his arms in an attempt to hide himself.  John walked in, shutting and bolting the door behind him.

"Uh, if you give me a minute, I can get dressed.  It'll take me thirty seconds," Rodney babbled, stepping away from John.  Over the past days, Rodney had noticed that John's proximity had direct relationship to his decreasing intelligence.  He need room to think.

John followed as though in a trance, his eyes sliding up to meet Rodney's nervous gaze.  "I think I'd rather stay  here, actually."

"Really, you would?  Because I understand if that kiss was a 'what the hell, I might die anyways' thing, so you don't have to... you know...."

Rodney continued his backward steps until he was pressed against a wall; John followed, meeting each step with one of his own.  He slowly reached out one hand, resting it on Rodney's shoulder.  His eyes never left Rodney's face as he slowly stroked Rodney's skin with his thumb, intently watching as Rodney swallowed hard and shivered.

"Do you want me to leave?" John asked, his voice rough and low.  "I will if you want me to."

"Uh...."  Rodney swallowed hard before shaking his head. "No.  Stay, please?  I mean, if you want to."

A smile spread across John's face.  Not a self-confident or teasing smirk, but a true smile.  "You're a sarcastic genius with amazing eyes, beautiful lips and an ass I've been dreaming of for days.  I'm not going anywhere, Rodney."

Raising his other hand, John cupped Rodney'sface before leaning in.  Their lips met in a hesitant, gentle kiss that made Rodney's body hum.  Their mouths soon separated and John rested his forehead against Rodney's.

Rodney opened his mouth; he felt he should say something, but words were failing him in the face of John's gentle touches.

"Something you want to say, Rodney?" John asked.

Rodney looked into hazel eyes before shaking his head.  His tongue slipped out to wet his lower lip, ignorant of the way John's eyes followed the movement.  John inhaled sharply and crashed his mouth against Rodney's.  This time, John dominated the kiss and left Rodney lightheaded.  He mewled into John's mouth and moved his hands to grip John's shoulders, pressing their bodies together as John's tongue mapped out his mouth, coaxing and teasing Rodney's tongue.

John tangled the fingers of one hand in Rodney's hair, tugging his head back with a surprising gentleness. 

"You lost your blanket, Rodney," John murmured, his lips a hair's-breadth away from Rodney's.  Slowly, his calloused hands moved from Rodney's shoulder and down his back before clasping his hips, pulling Rodney firmly against his body.  This time, Rodney sought out John's lips,tasting the bitter hint of ale as their tongues slid together.  Rodney felt like he was burning, his skin hot as he thrust against John's leather-clad hips. 

Rodney gasped as John lowered his mouth and began sucking at his throat. 

"You taste good, Rodney," he drawled, the puffs of air from his words dancing across saliva-slicked flesh, sending shivers through Rodney. "Wanna taste the rest."

"Oh, God," Rodney whimpered helplessly. 

Pulling away, John looked down at Rodney, his eyes dark and lips swollen. "God, Rodney.  You have no idea how much I want you right now," he murmured, holding Rodney by the hips and steering him toward the bed. 

The bed hit the back of Rodney's knees, throwing him off balance, but John kept pushing until Rodney tumbled down.  Looking up, Rodney swallowed hard.  He was just laying there, completely nude in front of John, arms and legs spread open, cock flushed and arching toward his stomach.  Rodney found himself pinned by John's dark gaze and part of him wanted to cover up and hide, but another part reveled in the blatant hunger in John's eyes.  As John studied Rodney's body, taking in every inch, Rodney could only watch, stunned.  From John's hungry gaze and the way his tongue kept darting out to wet his lips, to the bulge in John's pants, it was obvious that John wanted this as much as he did.

For the first time in his life, Rodney felt desirable and the flush covering his body was from arousal and not embarrassment.  He watched with hooded eyes as John quickly removed his clothing, tossing it aside carelessly.  His lean, muscled chest was dusted with dark hair that trailed down his stomach and circled his cock.  A cock Rodney quickly found himself growing enamored with.  It was longer than his own, though thinner and it was quite possibly one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.  If it weren't something that would offend most of his citizens, he'd have a giant granite statue of John, nude and erect, commissioned for the castle.  His scattered thoughts fell away as John crawled toward him.  As he moved further up, John paused and nipped at Rodney's hipbones before continuing his journey up toward Rodney's mouth.  John paused at Rodney's chest, his tongue flicking out to tease Rodney's nipples. 

A high pitched whine sounded from Rodney's throat.  John looked up an shot him grin that could only be described as pure evil.

"You liked that Rodney?" he rasped.

Rodney whimpered again, nodding quickly against the bedding.  John lowered his head again, taking one nipple into his mouth.  He sucked on it, flicking his tongue across the tip.  Once Rodney's hips began to wriggle in earnest, John latched onto it with his teeth, tugging. Rodney's whimpers gave way to mumbled curses and pleas, and those turned noisy once John's turned his attention to Rodney's other nipple.  He gave it the same treatment and within moments, Rodney was begging.  Eventually, John moved away from Rodney's chest and pressed their mouths together again.  Their tongues dueled as they rocked their hips together.  Pulling away for breath, John lowered his mouth to Rodney's ear.

"You make the best damn noises, Rodney.  Wonder what other sounds you'll make," he husked.

Pulling away, John retraced his path, traveling down Rodney's body,occasionally pausing to nip and suck on patches of skin before he finally reached Rodney's cock.  He looked up at Rodney, treating him to a lop-sided grin before mouthing the side of his cock.  He sucked gently and dragged his tongue along the vein on the underside. Reaching down, he cupped Rodney's balls, rolling them in his hand. 

"Oh God, oh god," Rodney moaned, writhing against John's hands.

John raised his mouth and sucked in half of Rodney's cock.  Rodney gasped and reached down to twine his hands in John's hair.  John chuckled, the vibrations traveling along Rodney's skin and causing him to arch his back.  John sucked hard and pulled off of Rodney's cock with a lewd pop, using one hand to clasp and stroke him. Releasing Rodney's balls, he raised one finger on Rodney's mouth.

"Suck on it, get it wet," he ordered.  Blue eyes hazy with lust, Rodney blinked, needing a few seconds to process the command.  Understanding dawned and he opened his mouth, pulling the finger between his lips.  He curled his tongue around it, laving and suckling on it.  John groaned as his hand kept pulling on Rodney's shaft.  Pulling his finger out, John lowered his hand between Rodney's legs.

"Oh, God," Rodney groaned, widening his legs.

That's it, he's going to kill me.  I'm going to die from sex, he thought, shuddering as John's finger pressed into him.  Rodney looked up at John,  meeting that dark, intent gaze as the finger inside of him stroked his inner walls.  After a few searching seconds, it nudged this prostate.

Rodney squeezed his eyes shut as pleasure crashed through him.  He vaguely became aware that he was keening loudly and opened his eyes to see John smirking down at him.  As the aftershocks continued to roll through him, Rodney could hardly string two words together.

"That was- that was great," Rodney panted.  "I mean, wow, that was... I think I may have lost some very valuable brain cells."

John's smirk transformed into a full-blown grin.  "Well I hope you didn't,because I plan on doing this many... more... times," he said, punctuating his words with kisses that trailed up Rodney's torso. Covering Rodney's body with his own, John pressed their mouths together, kissing Rodney deeply as he rutted and smeared his precum against Rodney's hip.  Breaking the kiss, John started panting against Rodney's lips.

"Wait wait," Rodney started, pushing John away.  John reluctantly pulled back, looking down at Rodney with desperation.


"On your back," Rodney ordered, grabbing at John's hips.  John complied, too turned on to care. 

Rodney scrambled in his hurry to straddle John's legs, eying John's cock critically.  Reaching out, he took it in his hand before firmly pumping, twisting his wrist every so often.  A look of smug superiority took residence on his face as listened to John's moans and pleas.  Leaning down, Rodney suckled on the very tip of John's cock, teasing.

"Oh God, Rodney, please," John begged, his hips twitching as he tried to keep from thrusting into the slick heat of Rodney's mouth.

Rodney looked up through his eyelashes at John,in awe of the sheer desperation and need that he had caused.  It was heady, knowing that he'd done this, turned John into a gibbering mess. At that moment, Rodney felt a surge of pride.  Grinning around the head of the cock in his mouth, Rodney took a deep breath and took more of it inside his mouth.  His grin would have turned into a look of smug superiority at the desperate, inarticulate moans, but at the moment, Rodney's mouth was busy sucking.  The scientific part of his brain had returned form its vacation in happy orgasm land, and was applying itself to the task of drive John mad.  Unable to take all of John into his mouth, Rodney kept one hand moving at the base of John's dick while the other cupped the balls just below.  With a sob, John began to thrust into Rodney's mouth as Rodney sucked hard.

"Fuck, Rodney, I'm gonna come," John wailed, tugging on Rodney's hair. 

Rodney had an idea that John was attempting to keep from coming in his mouth,but damn it, he wanted to taste John, and there was no way it could be as terrible as Stackhouse's cooking.

With a low groan that seemed to originate in John's stomach, he came, his body arching and fingers tightening in Rodney's hair.  Come flooded Rodney's mouth and as he'd suspected, it wasn't as bad as Stackhouse's cooking.  And it was worth it, judging by desperate whimper John gave as he watched Rodney swallow.  As John's muscles twitched in the aftermath of what seemed to Rodney a phenomenal orgasm, Rodney moved off of John and pulled the  blankets out from under John's lax body.

"Jesus, Rodney, that was amazing," John said, a wide, goofy grin lighting up his face.  "I think you almost killed me."

As Rodney curled into John's side and pulled the blanket over them, he replied:

"Well, there are certainly worse way that you could die."

* * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * *

To Be Continued in Part Five, the Epilogue... (which is, again, blocked for editing)


Date: 2008-05-27 03:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melagan.livejournal.com
"You're a sarcastic genius with amazing eyes, beautiful lips and an ass I've been dreaming of for days. I'm not going anywhere, Rodney."

Oh hell yes. In case you can't tell I'm enjoying this immensely!

Date: 2008-05-27 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Thanks for letting me know; I like knowing that my scheming and agonizing is paying off.



Date: 2008-05-27 04:38 pm (UTC)
ext_11979: (John Tetris by aotearoagal)
From: [identity profile] suki-blue.livejournal.com
And John... was shirtless. And laughing. John was shirtless and laughing.

LOL! I love the realisation there!

"Are we all ready to go?" Sumner asked, dragging Rodney's mind back to the depressingly nonsexual realm of reality.

Yes, that happens to me constantly. Don't you hate it? You're thinking about men getting it on, hot male bodies on top of hot male bodies, and then someone demands you do some work and earn your pay! Damn rude.

Love it, honey! Presents comprised of gay porn are definitely the way to go!

Date: 2008-05-27 04:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
I think gay porn will be the new must-have gift this christmas.

I'm working on Part 5, which is mostly just silliness.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.


Sorry it's taken so long.


Date: 2008-05-27 06:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seadragon-redux.livejournal.com
Rodney, Radek and explosives.... I'm thinking that might actually be more dangerous then giving them pick axes *laughs*

Though I have to say, I worry about Radek just getting squished by Ronan with him being so much bigger

Date: 2008-05-27 06:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
*lol* A valid fear, but Ronon is very gentle with Radek and wouldn't allow it to happen.

And yes,

Radek + Rodney + explosives

does = scary

Radek + Rodney + explosives

also = somewhat aroused Ronon and John.

I'm glad you enjoyed this, thanks so much for the feedback.


Date: 2008-05-28 03:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xela-fic.livejournal.com
That blocked link? SO NOT COOL. *pouts*

And how's John going to react when he finds out just who Rodney is? I wanna know! *puppy dog eyes* Please?

Look, you've turned me into a 5-year-old!

And can I just add Radek+Ronon=AWESOMECAKES

Date: 2008-05-28 04:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
You'll find out, though I think it's safe the reaction will be something along the lines of "Muh?!"

Radek and Ronon are totally awesomecakyness-worthy.

They're so cute because Radek is a small, skittish genius, and Ronon is just a tall pile of hotness.

I like to occasionally pair him with Radek probably because Radek reminds me of myself. So it's like me with Ronon, minus some of the equipment.

Thanks so much for reviewing!


Date: 2008-07-18 01:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sgakaz.livejournal.com
Scorching hotness worth the wait:)

Date: 2008-07-18 04:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com

I've always felt it rude to have sexual tension in a story, and then not have sex.

It's my personal rule.


Date: 2008-08-08 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_beetle_/
His voice trailed off and he looked into Rodney's eyes. It was too dark for Rodney to see much, but a knot of tension curled low in his gut. But this knot, this feeling, was different from constant sense of nauseating doom that had been there since leaving Canada.

Yes, that, and:

Slowly, Rodney stood and stretched, wincing as sore muscles and misaligned vertebrae protested his movements.

Establish the Rodney-feel very nicely :D

And they did the do!!!!

Now, if you could work some Guardian!Elizabeth/Teyla into the epilogue . . . or hell, while I'm making a wish-list, Sam Carter/Teyla. . . .

Date: 2008-08-08 05:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Yep, indeed the did the do.

I'm glad you enjoyed it, though I have no plans for a sequel.




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