Paranormal Table 2

[vinniebatman]

Title:  Of Crazed Spirits and Similes (Part 2/25 for my Paranormal Epic)
Author: vinniebatman aka batmanvinnie
Fandom: BtVS/Supernatural.
Pairings: Spander, of course.   This one is PRESLASH, so no loving... yet.  I decided to make this a crossover with SPN, but the Winchester boys won't be in for a couple chapters.
Rating/Warnings:  This one is teen.  Adult in later parts.
Prompt:  Prompt #13 - "Medium" from my table.
Summary:  Xander freaks out after discovering his abilities and learns some interesting facts about ghosts.
Teaser: In the space of two days, Xander had become increasingly introverted.  Normally, he would nod and smile at everyone he met.  But after an embarrassing trip down the hallway that nearly landed him in the hospital's psychward, that had quickly changed. 
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him. I now own all. Thank you.   Or not.
A/N:  This is the second piece in my series of stories for the community  paranormal25, for which I'm writing a series of stories about Xander being able to see Ghosts. 
Xander in this one does seem to be a bit of a zeppo!klutz, and I just wanted to take this opportunity to say it's not a reflection of Xander, but of how stressed and jumpy he becomes.  Hopefully you'll get all of this from my story, but I didn't want anyone to think that I was making him into a klutzy kid again.
Italics in the story indicate thoughts.  Sorry it took me so long to update and post, but things just got kind of busy and hectic, so of course this one ended up giving me trouble.  But here it finally is due to a well-timed comment from lit_gal.  
Previous Parts: The story is archived here.

 

It was well after midnight by the time Xander returned to the school.  The doctor had cleared him for release the following morning, but Xander offered a quick "no thanks," before hastily packing his belongings.  The young medium had practically run from the hospital, eye glued to his feet.  In the space of two days, Xander had become surprisingly introverted.  Normally, he would nod and smile at everyone he met.  But after an embarrassing trip down the hospital hallway that nearly landed him in the hospital's psychward that had quickly changed.  Fearful of accidentally talking to a ghost and appearing insane, he'd become hyper-aware of his surroundings, tense, and was bordering on paranoid.  Facing the kitchen entrance, Xander cursed as he tried to insert the key again.  A combination of nerves and tension caused his hands to shake so violently that the key danced around the lock.

"Stupid - fucking - key!" he growled.  With a frustrated moan, he clenched his fist, willing the shaking to stop.  His was so fearful that nearly every muscle in his body was clenched and shaking with tension.  His head jerked up as he heard the familiar "snick" of the first lock being undone.  Several seconds later, the door opened to reveal Spike.  The blonde vampire merely raised an eyebrow before walking back inside the kitchen, silent.

"Thanks," Xander muttered as he shut the door.  Spike leaned indolently against the counter, sipping from a black mug.

"Sorry about the, uh, thinking you were dead thing."  The vampire didn't answer, choosing to instead continue drinking.  Observing his former nemesis, Xander mentally cursed the blonde.  Barring First-induced incidents of insanity, Spike always managed to have that cool, unruffled look.  Stupid, well-muscled, undead-vampire guy, being all cool and mysterious he thought.  Uncomfortable, he cast his eye about the kitchen, pretending to contemplate carpentry repairs.

"So ya see the dead, then?"  Xander twitched, surprised at Spike’s sudden interruption of the silence.  Xander nodded, gnawing on his lower lip. 

"Yep.  Kinda freaky." They stood in silence, eyes darting across the kitchen before finally settling on each other.

"Would be."  Silence descended again.  Spike's eyes traveled down Xander's body slowly, taking in each changed detail of the Scooby.  Xander was leaner and more confident than he had been not even two years ago.  And if forced, Spike would admit the boy was also more attractive.  He'd grown up, become a man.  A very attractive man.  He watched as Xander sighed and nodded.  Clearing his throat, Xander spoke.

"So, kill anything creepy lately?" 

"Nah.  We were too busy runnin'.  Ran across some hunters who didn't want to wait for an explanation before they started shooting."  

"Oh, wow.  That sucks.  You should have Giles yell them.  Or you know, write a terse letter."  Spike snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Ponce wants to give them jobs."  

"Ah."  Spike raised his mug and drained his mug.  Xander scratched the back of his neck.  The animosity and testosterone that had always surged between them had disappeared over the years of separation.  All the differences and sins of the past seemed unimportant in the face of training new Slayers, watching hellmouths and facing various apocalypses.  But now there was a new tension, filled with something Xander couldn't quite identify, partly because he didn’t want to.

"Good Lord, that vampire is looking at you like a fraternity boy at a Tijuana strip club."  Xander shrieked, jumping and turning midair toward the small table in the corner.  There sat Grandmother LaVelle, calm and entirely unimpressed with Spike.  Without the confusion of the previous day, he could see her clearly.  She seemed smaller than she had twenty years ago, but where he’d once seen a cold statue, he now saw a composed woman with steel in her spine.  She reminded him of a slayer.

"Would you stop doing that?  Can't you warn me before you sneak up on me?" he yelled, clutching his hand to his heart.

"Sorry, Grandson.  I keep forgetting you're untrained.  After you've trained for a while, you'll be able to sense the presence of a spirit."

"Who's this?"  Xander started and spun back towards the counter.  He'd momentarily forgotten about Spike's presence. 

"What?"

"Who are you talking to?  Red told me that you've been seeing ghosts, so apparently you're not crazy.  Or at least not that crazy."

"Yes, Grandson, please introduce me to this creature that keeps leering at you like a dog outside a butcher shop."  Xander groaned, his skin darkening with a blush.

Spike smirked and raided an eyebrow.  He didn't know what was being said, but whatever it was, it was bringing a delightful color to the boy's face.  And the scent wasn’t bad either.

"Would you stop it with the creepy similes!  God!  Grandmother, this is Spike," Xander sighed, gesturing to the vampire.  "Spike, this patch of invisible is my Grandmother, Grandmother Annamarie LaVelle."

"Pleasure to meet a member of Xan's family that isn't attached to a bottle of booze," he said, offering a quick bow.

Xander cringed; if there was one thing he remembered from his visits with Grandmother LaVelle, it was that you NEVER pissed her off.  Aw, crap.  This won't be good.  Waiting for the inevitable screech of indignation, he was surprised when is he instead heard a warm laugh.

Xander’s indigent sputter caused a smile to curl Spike's lips.  He didn't know what the ghost said, but was obviously not what the boy had expected.  With a groan, Xander threw his hands up in surrender.  "That’s it! I have had enough of this crap!  For two days I have been walking around and talking to people!  People that aren't really there!  And I don't figure it out until I see that there isn't a shadow but by that time I've been having this whole conversation with an invisible ghost so everyone thinks I'm NUTS!  I am tired, paranoid and pissed off!  I am going to bed!"

Grandmother LaVelle disappeared as Xander turned and stomped up the stairs, muttering angrily.  With an appreciative glance and smirk, Spike watched him leave.

* * * * * * * * 
Xander slammed the door behind him, wincing as he realized that he might have woken the mini-Slayers.  He dropped his bag to ground before he fell onto his bed with a groan.  As he started to relax, he heard someone clear their throat.

"Go away, Grandma.  I'm tired and cranky," he said, the words muffled by the bedding.

"It's probably because you haven't been getting enough orgasms."

Xander jumped, trying to sit on the bed to look up.  Instead he ended up falling to the floor in a tangle.  Standing quickly, he saw Anya sitting against the headboard, dressed in a red gown.  A burst of joy tinged with sadness flooded him.

"Ahn-,” he started, walking towards her.

"Don't try to hug me!" She warned him.  Xander frowned, dropping heavily to the bed.

"Why, you don't want me to?"  Anya rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"It's not that.  It's just that you can't touch me, and I didn't want you to try and then get all sad when you couldn't."

"Oh."  Xander scooted up to the head of the bed and rested against the headboard.

"So, are you in heaven?"

"Yes.  I even met your friend Jesse.  He's quite attractive.  If he'd lived, I would have wanted us to have sex with him."  Xander blushed slightly and chuckled, Anya's blunt manner's distracting him from his confusion and fear.

"Can he come back and see me now?"

Anya shook her head.  "Sorry.  Only highly aware spirits can get back to earth."

"Then how can you visit me?"

"Well, it has to do with being able to work at a higher level, spiritually speaking.  To get back to this plane, it’s like going through a huge labrynith.  Sometimes a couple spirits stumble their way through.  But usually, only people who are used to using their brains on a higher levels, like witches, mediums, and seers, have the ability to find their way back to this plane.  Those spirits can… feel, I guess, the way to get back.  And even then they can only be seen by mediums.  Because I was so old, along with my involvement in magic and former demon status, I can fine my way back here to visit you."

"Huh.  That’s interesting.  Wait, if you're a ghost, why can't you touch me?  Because some ghosts can touch stuff, right?"

Anya sighed.  "I didn't want to give you the whole lecture, but I guess I might as well.  I mean, you Grandmother doesn't seem to be good at explaining it, anyways.  I guess because she doesn't know you like I did.  Or, well, do.  There are two general kinds of spirits: higher spirits, like me and your Grandmother who are in heaven, and then bound spirits, which usually get called ghosts.  Bound spirits are the spirits that are stuck on Earth and can't move on for whatever reason.  Because they're stuck here, over time the bound spirits can get strong enough to manipulate their surroundings, and if they feed off of emotions, the can eventually be seen."

"I will?"

"Yes.  It's a side effect of being a medium.  Do you know what a medium is Xander?"

"Uh, I’m guessing a person that sees ghosts would be my first guess."

"Oh, don’t be such a brat, Xander.  Ghosts exist only as a sort of energy.  A medium is a person whose senses are on a different wave length and can see that energy.  Eventually, you'll be kinda like Buffy is with vampires.  You'll be able to sense spirits and you'll know that they're here as soon as you see them.  Usually we can only be seen by normal people if the Powers help us or someone uses magic.  But once you get trained well, you'll also be able to sense demons that feed off of emotions or manipulate minds."

"Huh."  Xander nodded, absorbing the information.  When he spoke his word were colored not by anger or frustration, but defeat.  "Fuck.  This sucks, Anya.  I don't want this.  People always look at me like I'm crazy because I'm talking to people that they can't see.  It's driving me crazy, I feel like Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, except I can see them too, oh no, it wasn’t enough for me to hear them.  So I just get to keep walking around, talking to AIR and just generally look like a jackass.”  Suddenly, Xander paled.  “Oh god, last night I said some stupid stuff to Spike.  I think I may have even told him he was not.  Shit.  Now I just get to wait for the mental torture and emotional blackmail to begin."

"Possibly.  But on the plus side, he'll probably blackmail you for sex."

"What?  No, no Anya, that's just so... I mean, no!"  Xander pulled his pillow over his head and started whimpering into the bedding.  Eventually, the room fell silent and Xander started to relax.

"So, are you and Spike going to have orgasms together?  Because if so, I'd like to know so Cordelia and I can come and watch."

Part 3 Here

Comments

[lit-gal.livejournal.com]

LOL...

Oh god, that was just so damn Anya that it isn't even funny. And I love the explanation. You're fleshing out his powers nicely, and now I can look forward to Spike blackmailing Xander for sex!

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm glad you liked it. Now I must poke my muse into studying the other prompts. Thanks for the lovely comment and the inspiration.

[julii-wolfe.livejournal.com]

*Looks at the above comment*
I'm with her.

Very well done. Love the grandma, and all of her inappropriate yet visual metaphors.

Because Spike is kinda compact, and well muscled.
And I'm not sleeping with Spike, but I'm beginning to think you are.

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm glad you like Granny. I wanted to give her some more energy and life (pardon the pun) than Xander would have remembered from his childhood.

And I glad you caught the reference to that quote; I didn't want to directly quote it, but I figure Xan's visual appraisal wouldn't change that much.
*grins*
Thanks!

[nomadbeth.livejournal.com]

Gah! So, I followed the rec, and boy was she right. This is fun! And Ahn... yea... (I can imagine the commentary between Anya and Cordy during the 'big show'!)

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm thinking Cordy will have to make an appearance at some point, just for laughs. I just hope they dont' drag Jesse along (because in order for them not to distract Xander, they'd have to be watching from the higher plane, not in the room).
Thanks for the comment, and I'm glad you thought it was fun. I was worried that the explanations would drag it down.

[soraidh.livejournal.com]

Anya and Cordelia coming to watch! That's perfect. They'd both be there with popcorn. Though that might distract Xander from his orgasms.

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

That is true, but at the same time, I think Spike would take it as a challenge to see how well he could distract xander.

Thanks for the comment.

[syrenslure.livejournal.com]

"So, are you and Spike going to have orgasms together? Because if so, I'd like to know so Cordelia and I can come and watch."

lmao.

This is funny and very cute. I like how it is playing out. Good luck with the rest of it.

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'll need the good thoughts for this one.
And so far, that line has been very popular.

[windandsummer.livejournal.com]

Omg, this is great and I loved!!! the ending it was perfect!!! I would love to see more from this story!!`B

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.
There's an prequel to this part in my memories, btw.

[stretfordditto.livejournal.com]

Lmao. Luf this fic. :D

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

THanks for both your notes. Love the icon.
Snoopy dance rocks!
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
*hugs*

[yanagi-wa.livejournal.com]

Well, damn, first he's a medium, then he has to put up with Anya. Poor Xander, he must be so frustrated. Excellent work.

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

Anya AND cordy. I think she's going to make an appearence soon. Glad you liked it, thanks for the fb. Makes me happy!

[vickiesr.livejournal.com]

I'm with Anya
I want to see Xander and Spike have orgasms too

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

So do I!
*cough*
Er, I mean, I do have another part in mind. Hopefully this one won't take five months to do.
Thanks for the feedback and for reading.

[kitty-poker1.livejournal.com]

please introduce me to this creature that keeps leering at you like a dog outside a butcher shop.

LOL. I can just see Spike's hungry expression.

Very good dialogue and I'm looking forward to more in this 'verse. Enjoyed it a lot.

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

*bows at kitty's feet*
Coming from you, I'ma blush now.
Dialogue is one of my favorite things to write. Its a challenge to write realistic dialogue that shows emotion without telling of action or getting too out of character.
Thanks.

[mrpage8466.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

Great ending.

Can't wait for more.

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

I hope to get to it soon, thanks.
And i realy heart your icon.
Aargh.
Pirates rock.
Again, thanks for reading and commenting.

[angelicvampyre.livejournal.com]

I just found this, really well done. More please :)

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

Gosh, you people are so picky and pushy!
But its nice to hear *grins stupidly*
I'm glad you like it, and i've got my mind working on the next bit.
Thanks!

[luna-61.livejournal.com]

I've Got to thank lit_gal for steering me over here.
I love this! I've Friended you so I won't miss a single part!
Oh look you write McShep too.
::runs off to read McShep::

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

I mostly just write McShep for suki_blue, but some pieces pop up now and again. I hope you enjoy them.
Thanks for the commenty joy.

Paranormal Epic ... interesting start ...

[slashpuppy.livejournal.com]

Just found and started reading this series. I like what I've seen so far! Looking forward to seeing more.

If you don't mind I'm gonna go and friend you and then track down any other of your work that I can! :-)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_beetle_/]

"Thanks," Xander muttered as he shut the door. Spike leaned indolently against the counter, sipping from a black mug.

"Sorry about the, uh, thinking you were dead thing." The vampire didn't answer, choosing to instead continue drinking. Observing his former nemesis, Xander mentally cursed the blonde. Barring First-induced incidents of insanity, Spike always managed to have that cool, unruffled look. Stupid, well-muscled, undead-vampire guy, being all cool and mysterious he thought. Uncomfortable, he cast his eye about the kitchen, pretending to contemplate carpentry repairs.

I can see it in my head clear as day, lol.


"So, kill anything creepy lately?"

"Nah. We were too busy runnin'. Ran across some hunters who didn't want to wait for an explanation before they started shooting."

"Oh, wow. That sucks. You should have Giles yell them. Or you know, write a terse letter." Spike snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Ponce wants to give them jobs."

LMAO, terse letter, indeed. Are the hunters Sam and Dean?

"Who's this?" Xander started and spun back towards the counter. He'd momentarily forgotten about Spike's presence.

"What?"

"Who are you talking to? Red told me that you've been seeing ghosts, so apparently you're not crazy. Or at least not that crazy."

"Yes, Grandson, please introduce me to this creature that keeps leering at you like a dog outside a butcher shop." Xander groaned, his skin darkening with a blush.

I love her. Can I keep her?

"Don't try to hug me!" She warned him. Xander frowned, dropping heavily to the bed.

"Why, you don't want me to?" Anya rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"It's not that. It's just that you can't touch me, and I didn't want you to try and then get all sad when you couldn't."

"Oh." Xander scooted up to the head of the bed and rested against the headboard.

Spot-on Ahn. That blunt, but strangely sweet way about her. Making me sniffly.

“Oh god, last night I said some stupid stuff to Spike. I think I may have even told him he was not. Shit. Now I just get to wait for the mental torture and emotional blackmail to begin."

"Possibly. But on the plus side, he'll probably blackmail you for sex."

"What? No, no Anya, that's just so... I mean, no!" Xander pulled his pillow over his head and started whimpering into the bedding. Eventually, the room fell silent and Xander started to relax.

"So, are you and Spike going to have orgasms together? Because if so, I'd like to know so Cordelia and I can come and watch."

=D

[vinniebatman.livejournal.com]

::giggles::
I'm glad you like it.

I'm actually writing a side story and post it at twisting the hellmouth.

Its Sam and Dean's side of things.