(no subject)

Quiz what I stole from Robert.

1. Your real name:
Alice Kristine.....

2. What friends call you:
Alice, bitch, wench....

3. What your boyfriend calls you:
Never had one. Bastards.

4. What's a name you once wished you'd rather have?
When I was little I wanted to be named Cynthia.

5. What is/are the ugliest name(s):
Brunhilda.

6. What would you name your pets?
Dog: Pepe or Pedro or Dirtyviciousbabyeater

7. Song about you?
Hurt by NIN, as performed by David Bowie

8. What would you name your kids?
I don't know. Something probably after my grandparents.

9. What would you name a ship you built?
The Cloits

10. If you wrote a book about yourself, what would it be called?
Bitch Therapy

Have you ever...

11. thrown up in public?
Nope

12. eaten or drank anything spoiled?
Nope

13. had a rip in your pants you didn't know about?
Yeah, but it was less than an inch and in my crotch area.

14. tripped while checking someone out?
No, I just trip.

15. had to pay for something you broke?
I have never broken anything, at least that I can remember. But I probably have.

16. nearly drowned?
Yes. And I drowned. I'm dead right now...

17. passed out?
Yep, sucked too much helium.

18. had a crush on somebody?
All the time. My romantic life exists solely in my mind and dreams.

19. been stuck in the rain?
No. I just brave it.

20. been attacked by an animal?
Once, when I bit my dog.

21. caught people having sex?
Nope

22. fallen asleep while driving?
What, am I retarded or something?

23. Been attracted to someone of the same sex?
Nope

23.5. Had sex with someone of the same...sex?...
Yes, I sleep with people I'm not attracted to. What the fuck?!

24. actually slipped on a banana peel?
Sadly no. That would be funny.

25. made a wish that came true?
None of my wishes ever come true.

Complete the sentence

26. I once had a dream....
that I played hide and seek with Colin Farrell. Sadly, it was just a game, nothing dirty.

27. I'm only racist towards...
People that piss me the fuck off.

28. I don't even know why I'm...
wait, I know why I'm depressed, angry, and bitter.

29. I'd give anything to have sex with...
Um... someone that loved me? I have no fucking idea.

30. Nothing sucks more than having to...
apologize for being bitter and jealous towards a friend.

31. If I had six bucks, I'd buy...
Some bandaids for my mole scar and some instant coffee.

32. It's hot. I should take off my...
shoes.

33. It's always more fun if you...
get drunk and stay up being stupid.

34. You can't eat steak without...
a nice baked tater.

35. You'd better shut up before I...
cut you, bitch.

36. I really like you and everything but...
you are one creepy little man. Get away.

What would you do if...

37. a dirty old guy at the airport slapped your butt?
Kick that fucker in the balls.

38. somebody was about to steal your car?
Um, call the cops.

39. you wake up with a billion spiders crawling all over you and
your bed?
Scream and get the hell out.

40. the person you just kissed tells you they have oral herpes?
See the answer for 37. Such pain I would cause.

41. you had three wishes?
1. To know if true love is in the cards for me
2. To be happy
3. For those I care about to be happy

42. the government allowed you to choose one thing to be made
illegal and one thing to be legalized?
illegal - idiots
legal - Gay Marriage

43. Britney Spears was at your front door asking for jumper
Laugh, tell her to get some class, and then mock her while assisting.

44. you had a time machine?
... I don't know. Kill Hitler?

Would you rather...

45. find the cure for cancer or the cure for aids?
If I had to choose, I would choose AIDS because of its devestating effect in undeveloped countries.

46. What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you read
the following words?
Courage: the cowardly dog
Driver: was seen escaping the seen in a blue mitsubishi
Bakery: donuts!
Roach: clip. And I'm not even a pot head.

Miscellaneous

47. What is your definition of love?
Finding that someone that gives you comfort, that you can fight with, get drunk with, get old with.

48. 3 words that are clues to identifying a person you are
currently interested in:
1. Hot
2. Russian
3. Sweet

49. Who or what is your worst enemy?
Me.

50. Who was the last person you kicked?
Um, probably one of my friends.

51. If you had to be a chess piece, which piece would you be?
I would like to be the Queen, limitless, but I would be the King as I always limit my options.

52. What's one romantic thing somebody's done for you?
I don't have one.

What is your opinion on the following?

53. "Girls are nothing but drama."
Only the bitches.

54. What are your two favorite movie lines?
"The fog is getting thicker..."
"And Leon's Getting Larger!"
and...
"To make a long story short--"
"Too Late!!"

55. Favorite TV Lines?
"Elly May is out by the ce-ment pond.