Jun. 9th, 2006 12:05 pm
[personal profile] vinniebatman
Title: Cough
Author: vinniebatman
This is in response to  the prompt from  [personal profile] noandwhere from the community [profile] promptsomeslash  Hope you like it!
Pairing:  Mal/Simon
Prompt:  romance, hurt/comfort
Pairing/Character: Mal/Simon
Rating/Warnings: Um, not naughty?  Teen, I guess
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him.  I now own all.  Thank you.
A/N: I orignally wrote this in half an hour and posted it as a comment to the prompt.  However, I liked it and decided to edit it and repost it.  I've been experimenting with writing pieces in present tense, so my tenses in this hastily composed piece got a bit wierd.  Here is the edited version. 

Simon groaned and rolled over to his back. Every time he moved, his skin would start to ache anew.  But after laying on it for six hours, the right side of his body was in pain. Snuggling deeper into the blankets, a deep, rattling cough started. It came from deep in his lungs, making his bronchial tubes feel like they were bleeding.

That's it; I'm going to die from a cold and my tombstone will read "He survived Reavers and murderers, and died from a cold."

His thoughts slipped away as the medications pulled his eyelids shut. Then everything behind his eyelids went red as lights flooded the room.

"What in the-," he started, only to be cut off by another deep, painful cough. Slowly opening his eyes, he saw the captain. Groaning, he started to get out of bed.

"Did someone get shot on the job again?" he rumbled, slowly righting his body.

"No, job were finished three days ago.  Ain't even planetside anymore," Mal pointed out.

Simon nodded dumbly before falling back against the pillows with another cough. "Oh."

He closed his eyes and let sleep start to take him again.


"What?!" he growled. He was suddenly somewhat glad of his cold; without the phlegm lining his throat, his angry comment would have been more of a whine.

"Made you some soup. Nothin' too great, but I figure you could use somethin' since ya ain't had anything since this morning."

Simon whimpered as the mention of food reminded him that he was hungry.

"Oh, thank you." He slowly sat up, shivering as the cold air hit his chest. Even with his sweater, he felt the cold. Mal set a tray with cups of soup and tea on Simon's lap. As Simon raised the tea to his mouth, Mal wrapped a spare blanket around Simon's shoulders.

Simon couldn't taste anything, but the heat from the tea was blissful, warming him inside. Mal sat at the foot of the bed, watching Simon sip weakly.

"Well, 'pears Jayne has decided to teach your sister cards," Mal said after a few moments' silence. Simon smiled as he exchanged tea for soup, which was really just broth.

"How many times has she beaten him?" he croaked out.

Mal shook his head.  "Every gorram time. Jayne can't figure out how she knows he's bluffin'."

"Doesn't know exactly, watches for tells. And she counts cards."

Mal laughed. "Well then, if Jayne don't admit defeat and quit soon, he's gonna end up doin' her chores for a month. Wash already figured out somethin's off, and he quit."

Simon drained the last of the broth, its warmth making him sleepier. Mal picked up the tray and watched the sick man fall back against the pillows, still wrapped in the blanket.

"Thank you, Captain," he yawned. Mal watched his eyes shut, listening as the doctor's breathing evened out. Once he was sure that the doctor was asleep, Mal reached out one hand and brushed his fingers across the doctor's forehead and cheek.

"Get well, Doc," he whispered with a smile. Still smiling, he left the room, gently shutting the door.

Date: 2006-06-09 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I love hurt/comfort fics, and this was a good one. Thank you!

Date: 2006-06-09 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm glad you liked it. I mean, I like to write, but feedback really does keep me going.

Date: 2006-06-09 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Believe me, it was my pleasure.

Date: 2006-06-09 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Awww...sweet! And in character, too!

Date: 2006-06-09 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Thank you. I'm glad you felt I accomplished my goals while remaining true to the characters.

Date: 2006-06-09 08:33 pm (UTC)
ext_1026: made by lanning (Simon-Mal: jezdenly)
From: [identity profile]
Awww! That was a sweet slice of adorable, even taking the phlegm into account.

Date: 2006-06-09 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yeah, I tried to keep Simon's POV fairly clinical, since he is the dr.

Glad you liked it and thanks for the FB

Date: 2006-06-09 09:58 pm (UTC)
vae: (mal/simon)
From: [personal profile] vae
do you mind beta-type fb? 'cause I'm dying to point a few fingers at this but I don't want to offend!

Lovely bit of pre-slash there, I especially like River beating Jayne at cards.

Date: 2006-06-09 10:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sure, why the hell not? I don't mind.

Date: 2006-06-09 11:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
OKay, comment gone bye bye.
And honestly, I don't mind the criticism. I once too a senior level college workshop- that was tough, listening to 18 people junk your story for an hour. There was only one bad person in the class. I wrote a scene in which the primary character is going insane and sees and abuser from her past, and the woman said "it seems like the beginning of a bad romance novel. Do us a favor and don't finish it."
Now her I hate.
Usually, I'm really good at tense. I mean, I usually have grammatical errors, but I usually keep tense straight. Guess I'm on crack, I'll blame stress.

But thank you so much for the offer to beta, I will definately take you up one it.

Date: 2006-06-10 06:57 am (UTC)
vae: (Default)
From: [personal profile] vae
thanks! And hee! at your icon. Funny *g*

Foolish woman. There's editing comments, there's concrit, and then there's the demolition job.

Date: 2006-06-10 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This is just as good as it was the first time I read it! I really needed this, thanks so much. *hugs*

Date: 2006-06-10 03:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm glad you still like it. *blows kiss*

Date: 2006-06-12 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Much better with the tenses! And I still love the secret tenderness at the end. *g* Well done!

Date: 2006-09-01 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Aww... so sweet :)

Date: 2006-09-01 05:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I have one other M/S in my memories. Its a bit more smutty.

Date: 2009-01-02 07:45 am (UTC)
ext_19682: (Alia)
From: [identity profile]
"That's it; I'm going to die from a cold and my tombstone will read "He survived Reavers and murderers, and died from a cold." "

I just start laughing here! XD

""Well, 'pears Jayne has decided to teach your sister cards," Mal said after a few moments' silence. Simon smiled as he exchanged tea for soup, which was really just broth.

"How many times has she beaten him?" he croaked out."

I love how Simon asked how many time his sister win right away! That show how well he knows her (and how Jayne seems to always forgot she is a genius child and not only a crazy one! XD)

Anyway, great fic! :3

Date: 2009-01-09 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm so glad that you liked it.

personally, I think River already knew how to play and beat the pants off of simon when she was only 7.

Thank you so much for the review.




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