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vinniebatmanTitle: Running in Place to Save the World: Part 1
Series: Abby Sciuto: Vampire Slayer
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I am not now, nor have I ever been Joss Whedon or Donald Bellisario. I know it's shocker, but you'll all deal.
Fandoms: BtVS, NCIS
Spoilers: Roughly around season 5, and through Season 7 in BtVS
Warnings: Bad humor
Pairings: Abby/Spike and Xander/Ziva, because if anyone can handle in a violent woman with intimacy and trust issues, its Xander.
Author's Note: This was inspired by a chapter I wrote for a group series on TtH. It's my take on what would happen if Abby from NCIS became a Slayer. The rest of the series should be a mix of humor, but I figure that at the beginning, it would be pretty strange and surreal.
* * * * * * * * *
Section Title: Breaking the News
Since finding out that she was a Slayer, Abby's emotions had been on a roller coaster ride of badness. She had been thrilled to learn she was a Slayer; she had a destiny to save people. But then she found out that she'd to leave work for six months, and that had almost been a deal breaker. Then Willow said that there were lots of Slayers, so Abby could eventually return to work and moonlight as a Slayer. But then it sucked when she found out that vampires were evil, kitten-poker, baby-killing evil, which ruined her romantic notions. Then Xander and Willow told her she'd be sent to London for Slayer Boot Camp, which was cool. After that she found out that there was no Caf-Pow! in England, but Willow figured that there had to be a way to sneak some into the UK.
The worst part, though, was leaving NCIS. Abby sat in Director Shepard's office, jiggling her foot as Homeland Security Special Liaison Agent Finn explained the situation.
Shepard nodded slowly and pursed her lips as she flipped through the confidential file. "So demons are real, Agent Finn?"
"Yep, Xander even dated one," Willow interjected, smiling. Xander blushed.
"Well, dated isn't technically right. I mean, we were engaged." Director Shepard shook her head.
"Alright. But so Abby is a Slayer, and she needs to go into training?" she clarified. Riley Finn nodded.
"That's correct Ma'am. With the large number of current Slayers, it should be easy for Miss Sciuto to one day return to her duties here at NCIS. It's just that with her new abilities, it is imperative that she goes to London to train."
"Very well," Shepard said, pulling out a piece of paper. "How long should I mark for Abby's leave of absence?" she asked, looking from Riley to Willow to Abby.
"Actually, couldn't we call it a sabbatical?" Willow asked. "With a forensic scientist of Abby's skill, it would be great to use her to sort of catalog physical findings on demons and stuff."
"That's a great idea," Riley nodded. "Most of the similar information we gathered with the Initiative was lost at the end."
"Alright then, sabbatical. How long?" Shepard asked. Xander frowned.
"Well, we asked some basic questions and based on her previous fighting experience, and her level of intelligence, I think six months would be good," Xander said.
Director Shepard nodded and quickly filled out the paper and signed it. Handing it to Abby, she smiled and extended her hand. "Good luck Abby. Don't forget to come back; we'll miss you."
Abby shook her hand. "Thanks."
"Just remember, Director Shepard, this is confidential, and revealing any of the information we just discussed will be considered treason," Riley pointed out. Shepard raised an eyebrow and Willow and Xander rolled their eyes. Quickly saying their goodbyes, Willow, Xander and Riley got up to leave. As they exited the Director's office, Abby led them to the bullpen. Ziva was sitting at her desk, ignoring Tony, who was talking with McGee, while Gibbs and Ducky were drinking coffee.
"Hey guys," Abby said, smiling. They turned to look at her, Ziva and Gibbs studying the new arrivals with a critical eye.
"Look Ziva, Abby brought you a pirate stripper," Tony snorted. Ziva raised an eyebrow.
"You should apologize Tony. Judging by the condition of the skin near the eye patch, I'm pretty sure the eye patch isn't just for fun," she said. Tony blanched.
"Oh, sorry man, I was just... you know," he mumbled. Xander smiled.
"No worries, I should have listened to my Mom's warnings about playing with nail guns."
"What did the Director have to say, Abby?" Gibbs asked. The team fell silent as Abby began to fidget. Reaching into the duffel bag she carried, she pulled out her stuffed hippo, Bert.
"I'm going on a sabbatical for six months, so I just came to get my stuff, " she said. She handed the hippo to Tony. "Will you take care of him for me while I'm gone?"
Tony frowned but nodded before squeezing the hippo, which let out a loud farting sound. Xander snickered.
"A sabbatical, Abigail? Why didn't you tell us you were considering one?" Ducky asked, concerned. This wasn't like Abby at all. Riley stepped forward and started with the cover story.
"It was a recent opportunity, she only found out about it on Friday. She'll be going to London to study with a group of research scientist who specialize in new kinds of physical evidence," Riley said.
"Who are you?" McGee asked. He and Abby weren't dating anymore, but he still felt like he should look out for her.
"I'm Special Agent Riley Finn from Homeland Security." Gibbs raised an eyebrow.
"What does Homeland Security have to do with a forensics sabbatical in England?" Gibbs asked.
"It's confidential," Riley said, giving them his 'all-American-Iowa' grin. "Sufficed to say, a lot of governments will be interested in the results of Abby's group."
"So if anyone asks, we were never here," Xander added.
"Who's the wise guy?" Tony asked
"What, you saying I'm strange?" Xander asked.
"If you don't mind my saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange," Tony said, faux concentration lining his face. "What, you don't know that quote?"
"Not if that makes you Ben, because that would make me Mrs. Robinson. 'Cause I haven't worn a bra since those frat guys made me wear one. And I was only there to watch out for Cordy and Buffy." Xander said. Tony's mouth dropped open as everyone else looked puzzled.
Xander rolled his eyes. "It's a quote from 'The Graduate,' you know, here's to you Mrs. Robinson?"
"You actually know what Tony is talking about?" Ziva asked.
"Of course he does," Willow answered. "He's Xander."
"Is he like Tony? Does he always make weird references to movies?" Ziva asked.
"They all do," Riley said.
"But Xander does it the most," Willow added. Leaning closer to Ziva, she whispered, "You should see him when he has five Twinkies."
Ziva frowned. "He likes junk food? Tony is addicted to Creamy Crisps."
"Creamy Crisps?" Willow echoed.
"Those donuts."
"Ooh, you mean Krispy Kremes," Willow corrected, nodding. Ziva shrugged.
Abby smiled, and the knot of tension that had been forming in her stomach partially loosened. She didn't know any of Xander or Willow's friends, but watching the two of them interact with her friends, she figured she'd fit right in.
"Hey Wills, Tony said that Gibbs broke six different computers. We should introduce him to Giles."
"Not if they're going to be around my computer, Mister."
* * * * * * * * *
Section Title: Playing Well with Others
After a hellish journey, Abby was finally in London. Okay, so it wasn't really hellish. Mostly because they had a private jet. So it was a cool flight in that there was snacks, comfy seats, room to walk around, and a movie projector. But since she'd be called a week ago, Abby had been restless. And no matter how much room the jet had, it wasn't enough. There wasn't room to run or jump around.
After the plane, they'd transfered to a car which they ended up being stuck in for almost an hour. By the time they got to Slayer HQ, it was after seven. The car pulled over and Abby, Willow and Xander exited onto a street filled with neat rows of grey, elegant buildings. The building they entered was stunning, the walls paneled with dark woods, and old oriental rugs resting on marble floors. Abby typically didn't feel out of place, but the aristocratic opulence of this place almost made her feel out classed, like a kid visiting an art museum. She felt like she's shown up at a club dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. A severe-looking Englishman sat a desk, facing the entrance. He greeted them with a slight nod before returning his gaze to his computer. Willow led them to a set of double doors behind the reception desk. Opening the doors, she revealed a large conference room. Like the rest of the building, it was built with expensive materials, but the mood inside was relaxed.
Boxes of take out covered the table, with a few adults and several girls between sixteen and twenty arguing. A screen in the front showed footage of a demon. Some of the girls looked like they belonged in the elegant building, while others looked like they belonged at a skate park. It was a mix of every type. Everyone turned and looked at them, the room falling silent.
"Hey guys, this is the new Slayer," Willow said. Abby raised a hand and waved.
"Hi, I'm Abby." A short blonde woman stood and walked over to Abby, stopping before her. She looked down at Abby's feet, then up at her face.
"How tall are you?" she asked, frowning.
"Five ten."
The woman's face crumpled. "Aw man, why are all the Slayers taller than me?" Everyone started to snicker, including Xander and Willow. Abby shrugged and extended her hand.
"You must be Buffy."
***********
As it turned out, several of the buildings on the block were owned by the Council. They had all been linked together with doors, giving the Slayers and Council more room. There was even a gym downstairs, where the new Slayers learned control and fighting skills. Abby wasn't an overly skilled fighter, but she had some knowledge.
Abby and Buffy circled each other. The senior slayer threw a kick at her stomach, then a punch at her face. Abby used her height and speed to grab Buffy's leg and throw her off balance. The scientist then retaliated with a flurry of punches and kick. When the fight ended, the two Slayers bowed at each other.
"You're not too bad, Abby," Buffy commended. "Have you studied fighting before.?"
Abby smiled brightly. "Sort of. I took some self defense when I was in high school. Then last spring my ex-boyfriend kidnapped me, so Ziva started teaching me some self defense moves."
"Really? Ziva?" Xander asked, turning away from the fifteen year old slayer he was sparring with. With a war cry, the girl punched him in the gut, his protective gear not strong enough as he crumpled to the floor with a groan.
"Uh oh. Xander had the happy smile about Ziva," Buffy sighed. She turned to Abby. "She's human, right?"
"Oh yeah, she's human, just scary. Well, I don't think she's scary, but Tony and McGee do."
"Yeah," Xander wheezed. "She seemed pretty tough."
"She was trained by Mossad," Abby enthused. Xander rolled to his feet and headed to the doorway, the other Slayer following. Abby and Buffy dropped onto the mat and began chatting about her skills and what she still needed to learn. A low whistle drew their attention to the doorway where a bleached blond slouched against the door jamb.
"So, this is the new Slayer," he drawled. Abby stared, smiling. Andrew had shown her pictures of the vampire, but he was way hotter in person.
"Hi! I'm Abby and you're Spike," she smiled, studying him. Damn he was hot, and oh my God, he was wearing leather pants. Mmmm... leather pants.
Spike raised an eyebrow. The new girl was tall, and judging by her appearance (including her black pig tails), she was defiantly an odd one. She wore black leggings and a small tee shirt that read "If I throw a stick, will you leave?" She had a tattoo of a spider web on the back of her neck, and an infinity sign on her inner right arm, as well as two others on her left arm. She looked like one of those dark goth types, except she smiled where they glowered. And she even smiled at him, free of any fear or wariness. New Slayers were always a bit wary of him, knowing what he was and what he'd done. But she was practically drooling over him, he could smell it. He swaggered over to her, studying her body. She was pretty cute.
"How about a quick one?" he drawled. Abby smirked back at him.
"Sure, just as long as it's not too quick," she grinned. She bounced up and away from him, watching him carefully as Buffy vacated the mat. Spike threw the first punch, then followed with a kick. The hits came quickly, but Abby dodged them. She was more intent on defending herself than attacking. Darting forward, he swept her feet out from under her. He then moved over to her prone body, only to have her quickly kick at his legs. He fell to the ground and Abby quickly moved on top of him to pin him down.
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Not too bad, luv," he murmured.
"Thanks!" Abby grinned. As she smiled, she relaxed by a tiny fraction. Bucking up, Spike rolled them over and pinned her down. His arms were locked solidly, immovable.
"I win," he smirked. Abby smiled even wider, looking down at where he sat on her hips.
"Really? Because I'd say it looks like I won," she gloated. Spike laughed; the woman was crazy.
Buffy smirked at the slightly dopey grin on Abby's face. Abby was strong, not just physically, but mentally. She knew who she was, and wasn't afraid of that. And from what Willow said, she'd also seen a lot of darkness of humanity but was still trying to find the good. And she certainly wasn't afraid of Spike.
Leaving the gym, she went to find Xander. She had a new category for the Council wagers: how long would it take for Abby and Spike to hook up.
Series: Abby Sciuto: Vampire Slayer
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I am not now, nor have I ever been Joss Whedon or Donald Bellisario. I know it's shocker, but you'll all deal.
Fandoms: BtVS, NCIS
Spoilers: Roughly around season 5, and through Season 7 in BtVS
Warnings: Bad humor
Pairings: Abby/Spike and Xander/Ziva, because if anyone can handle in a violent woman with intimacy and trust issues, its Xander.
Author's Note: This was inspired by a chapter I wrote for a group series on TtH. It's my take on what would happen if Abby from NCIS became a Slayer. The rest of the series should be a mix of humor, but I figure that at the beginning, it would be pretty strange and surreal.
* * * * * * * * *
Section Title: Breaking the News
Since finding out that she was a Slayer, Abby's emotions had been on a roller coaster ride of badness. She had been thrilled to learn she was a Slayer; she had a destiny to save people. But then she found out that she'd to leave work for six months, and that had almost been a deal breaker. Then Willow said that there were lots of Slayers, so Abby could eventually return to work and moonlight as a Slayer. But then it sucked when she found out that vampires were evil, kitten-poker, baby-killing evil, which ruined her romantic notions. Then Xander and Willow told her she'd be sent to London for Slayer Boot Camp, which was cool. After that she found out that there was no Caf-Pow! in England, but Willow figured that there had to be a way to sneak some into the UK.
The worst part, though, was leaving NCIS. Abby sat in Director Shepard's office, jiggling her foot as Homeland Security Special Liaison Agent Finn explained the situation.
Shepard nodded slowly and pursed her lips as she flipped through the confidential file. "So demons are real, Agent Finn?"
"Yep, Xander even dated one," Willow interjected, smiling. Xander blushed.
"Well, dated isn't technically right. I mean, we were engaged." Director Shepard shook her head.
"Alright. But so Abby is a Slayer, and she needs to go into training?" she clarified. Riley Finn nodded.
"That's correct Ma'am. With the large number of current Slayers, it should be easy for Miss Sciuto to one day return to her duties here at NCIS. It's just that with her new abilities, it is imperative that she goes to London to train."
"Very well," Shepard said, pulling out a piece of paper. "How long should I mark for Abby's leave of absence?" she asked, looking from Riley to Willow to Abby.
"Actually, couldn't we call it a sabbatical?" Willow asked. "With a forensic scientist of Abby's skill, it would be great to use her to sort of catalog physical findings on demons and stuff."
"That's a great idea," Riley nodded. "Most of the similar information we gathered with the Initiative was lost at the end."
"Alright then, sabbatical. How long?" Shepard asked. Xander frowned.
"Well, we asked some basic questions and based on her previous fighting experience, and her level of intelligence, I think six months would be good," Xander said.
Director Shepard nodded and quickly filled out the paper and signed it. Handing it to Abby, she smiled and extended her hand. "Good luck Abby. Don't forget to come back; we'll miss you."
Abby shook her hand. "Thanks."
"Just remember, Director Shepard, this is confidential, and revealing any of the information we just discussed will be considered treason," Riley pointed out. Shepard raised an eyebrow and Willow and Xander rolled their eyes. Quickly saying their goodbyes, Willow, Xander and Riley got up to leave. As they exited the Director's office, Abby led them to the bullpen. Ziva was sitting at her desk, ignoring Tony, who was talking with McGee, while Gibbs and Ducky were drinking coffee.
"Hey guys," Abby said, smiling. They turned to look at her, Ziva and Gibbs studying the new arrivals with a critical eye.
"Look Ziva, Abby brought you a pirate stripper," Tony snorted. Ziva raised an eyebrow.
"You should apologize Tony. Judging by the condition of the skin near the eye patch, I'm pretty sure the eye patch isn't just for fun," she said. Tony blanched.
"Oh, sorry man, I was just... you know," he mumbled. Xander smiled.
"No worries, I should have listened to my Mom's warnings about playing with nail guns."
"What did the Director have to say, Abby?" Gibbs asked. The team fell silent as Abby began to fidget. Reaching into the duffel bag she carried, she pulled out her stuffed hippo, Bert.
"I'm going on a sabbatical for six months, so I just came to get my stuff, " she said. She handed the hippo to Tony. "Will you take care of him for me while I'm gone?"
Tony frowned but nodded before squeezing the hippo, which let out a loud farting sound. Xander snickered.
"A sabbatical, Abigail? Why didn't you tell us you were considering one?" Ducky asked, concerned. This wasn't like Abby at all. Riley stepped forward and started with the cover story.
"It was a recent opportunity, she only found out about it on Friday. She'll be going to London to study with a group of research scientist who specialize in new kinds of physical evidence," Riley said.
"Who are you?" McGee asked. He and Abby weren't dating anymore, but he still felt like he should look out for her.
"I'm Special Agent Riley Finn from Homeland Security." Gibbs raised an eyebrow.
"What does Homeland Security have to do with a forensics sabbatical in England?" Gibbs asked.
"It's confidential," Riley said, giving them his 'all-American-Iowa' grin. "Sufficed to say, a lot of governments will be interested in the results of Abby's group."
"So if anyone asks, we were never here," Xander added.
"Who's the wise guy?" Tony asked
"What, you saying I'm strange?" Xander asked.
"If you don't mind my saying so, this conversation is getting a little strange," Tony said, faux concentration lining his face. "What, you don't know that quote?"
"Not if that makes you Ben, because that would make me Mrs. Robinson. 'Cause I haven't worn a bra since those frat guys made me wear one. And I was only there to watch out for Cordy and Buffy." Xander said. Tony's mouth dropped open as everyone else looked puzzled.
Xander rolled his eyes. "It's a quote from 'The Graduate,' you know, here's to you Mrs. Robinson?"
"You actually know what Tony is talking about?" Ziva asked.
"Of course he does," Willow answered. "He's Xander."
"Is he like Tony? Does he always make weird references to movies?" Ziva asked.
"They all do," Riley said.
"But Xander does it the most," Willow added. Leaning closer to Ziva, she whispered, "You should see him when he has five Twinkies."
Ziva frowned. "He likes junk food? Tony is addicted to Creamy Crisps."
"Creamy Crisps?" Willow echoed.
"Those donuts."
"Ooh, you mean Krispy Kremes," Willow corrected, nodding. Ziva shrugged.
Abby smiled, and the knot of tension that had been forming in her stomach partially loosened. She didn't know any of Xander or Willow's friends, but watching the two of them interact with her friends, she figured she'd fit right in.
"Hey Wills, Tony said that Gibbs broke six different computers. We should introduce him to Giles."
"Not if they're going to be around my computer, Mister."
* * * * * * * * *
Section Title: Playing Well with Others
After a hellish journey, Abby was finally in London. Okay, so it wasn't really hellish. Mostly because they had a private jet. So it was a cool flight in that there was snacks, comfy seats, room to walk around, and a movie projector. But since she'd be called a week ago, Abby had been restless. And no matter how much room the jet had, it wasn't enough. There wasn't room to run or jump around.
After the plane, they'd transfered to a car which they ended up being stuck in for almost an hour. By the time they got to Slayer HQ, it was after seven. The car pulled over and Abby, Willow and Xander exited onto a street filled with neat rows of grey, elegant buildings. The building they entered was stunning, the walls paneled with dark woods, and old oriental rugs resting on marble floors. Abby typically didn't feel out of place, but the aristocratic opulence of this place almost made her feel out classed, like a kid visiting an art museum. She felt like she's shown up at a club dressed in jeans and a tee shirt. A severe-looking Englishman sat a desk, facing the entrance. He greeted them with a slight nod before returning his gaze to his computer. Willow led them to a set of double doors behind the reception desk. Opening the doors, she revealed a large conference room. Like the rest of the building, it was built with expensive materials, but the mood inside was relaxed.
Boxes of take out covered the table, with a few adults and several girls between sixteen and twenty arguing. A screen in the front showed footage of a demon. Some of the girls looked like they belonged in the elegant building, while others looked like they belonged at a skate park. It was a mix of every type. Everyone turned and looked at them, the room falling silent.
"Hey guys, this is the new Slayer," Willow said. Abby raised a hand and waved.
"Hi, I'm Abby." A short blonde woman stood and walked over to Abby, stopping before her. She looked down at Abby's feet, then up at her face.
"How tall are you?" she asked, frowning.
"Five ten."
The woman's face crumpled. "Aw man, why are all the Slayers taller than me?" Everyone started to snicker, including Xander and Willow. Abby shrugged and extended her hand.
"You must be Buffy."
***********
As it turned out, several of the buildings on the block were owned by the Council. They had all been linked together with doors, giving the Slayers and Council more room. There was even a gym downstairs, where the new Slayers learned control and fighting skills. Abby wasn't an overly skilled fighter, but she had some knowledge.
Abby and Buffy circled each other. The senior slayer threw a kick at her stomach, then a punch at her face. Abby used her height and speed to grab Buffy's leg and throw her off balance. The scientist then retaliated with a flurry of punches and kick. When the fight ended, the two Slayers bowed at each other.
"You're not too bad, Abby," Buffy commended. "Have you studied fighting before.?"
Abby smiled brightly. "Sort of. I took some self defense when I was in high school. Then last spring my ex-boyfriend kidnapped me, so Ziva started teaching me some self defense moves."
"Really? Ziva?" Xander asked, turning away from the fifteen year old slayer he was sparring with. With a war cry, the girl punched him in the gut, his protective gear not strong enough as he crumpled to the floor with a groan.
"Uh oh. Xander had the happy smile about Ziva," Buffy sighed. She turned to Abby. "She's human, right?"
"Oh yeah, she's human, just scary. Well, I don't think she's scary, but Tony and McGee do."
"Yeah," Xander wheezed. "She seemed pretty tough."
"She was trained by Mossad," Abby enthused. Xander rolled to his feet and headed to the doorway, the other Slayer following. Abby and Buffy dropped onto the mat and began chatting about her skills and what she still needed to learn. A low whistle drew their attention to the doorway where a bleached blond slouched against the door jamb.
"So, this is the new Slayer," he drawled. Abby stared, smiling. Andrew had shown her pictures of the vampire, but he was way hotter in person.
"Hi! I'm Abby and you're Spike," she smiled, studying him. Damn he was hot, and oh my God, he was wearing leather pants. Mmmm... leather pants.
Spike raised an eyebrow. The new girl was tall, and judging by her appearance (including her black pig tails), she was defiantly an odd one. She wore black leggings and a small tee shirt that read "If I throw a stick, will you leave?" She had a tattoo of a spider web on the back of her neck, and an infinity sign on her inner right arm, as well as two others on her left arm. She looked like one of those dark goth types, except she smiled where they glowered. And she even smiled at him, free of any fear or wariness. New Slayers were always a bit wary of him, knowing what he was and what he'd done. But she was practically drooling over him, he could smell it. He swaggered over to her, studying her body. She was pretty cute.
"How about a quick one?" he drawled. Abby smirked back at him.
"Sure, just as long as it's not too quick," she grinned. She bounced up and away from him, watching him carefully as Buffy vacated the mat. Spike threw the first punch, then followed with a kick. The hits came quickly, but Abby dodged them. She was more intent on defending herself than attacking. Darting forward, he swept her feet out from under her. He then moved over to her prone body, only to have her quickly kick at his legs. He fell to the ground and Abby quickly moved on top of him to pin him down.
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Not too bad, luv," he murmured.
"Thanks!" Abby grinned. As she smiled, she relaxed by a tiny fraction. Bucking up, Spike rolled them over and pinned her down. His arms were locked solidly, immovable.
"I win," he smirked. Abby smiled even wider, looking down at where he sat on her hips.
"Really? Because I'd say it looks like I won," she gloated. Spike laughed; the woman was crazy.
Buffy smirked at the slightly dopey grin on Abby's face. Abby was strong, not just physically, but mentally. She knew who she was, and wasn't afraid of that. And from what Willow said, she'd also seen a lot of darkness of humanity but was still trying to find the good. And she certainly wasn't afraid of Spike.
Leaving the gym, she went to find Xander. She had a new category for the Council wagers: how long would it take for Abby and Spike to hook up.