[personal profile] vinniebatman
Title: A Royal Pain in the Ass, Part Five
Author: vinniebatman aka batmanvinnie
Fandom/Spoilers: SGA AU.  Contains characters from the show, but that's about where it ends. 
Pairings: McShep
Prompt: Written for the birthday of one of my favoritest people in the world, [info]suki_blue !  I heart you...
Rating/Warnings:  Adult at some point.  Hey, it's a present, and what says "I love you" better than gay pron?
  If I did own SGA, God, the amount of naked hot gay luvin' would be overwhelming!  But I don't, so let us mourn appropriately.   
  Prince Rodney must complete a quest in order to be named King
  Okay, so I was working on another story, but it just wouldn't work out, so I decided to scrap it and start anew.
Previous Parts Can Be Found HERE.
* * * * * * * * * 

As their horses neared the castle keep, John moved his closer to Rodney's.
“So, Rodney,” John started, drawing Rodney’s gaze. “We’re almost there. You know, I have a very lovely set of rooms, you wanna see them?” he asked.
Rodney’s mouth opened then closed, then opened again as Rodney searched for the right words. He finally settled on a stuttered “okay.”
John’s grin widened, his eyes lazily traveling up and down Rodney’s torso. John leaned closer and whispered, “I can’t wait; there are so many things I want to do you, and most of them require a very spacious bed.”
Before Rodney could even utter a response, John had moved away, spurring his horse forward.   In twenty minutes they had dismounted at the castle, their horses led away as servants carried away their belongings. As the tired, victorious group climbed the steps, a grey-haired man dressed in a military tunic stepped out.  Upon seeing him, John and Evan promptly saluted.
“At ease, men. By the way, congratulations on destroying the Wraith,” the man said.  "Not bad for a day's work."
“Thank you, General O’Neill,” the two replied.
“If you don’t mind, Sir, I was going to head to my room and clean up, maybe lay down,” John said, grinning lazily. 
“Sorry, but no. Some foreign royals are visiting and wanted to congratulate you, all of you,” O’Neill said, looking at the rest of the group.
Rodney wanted to scream and possibly throw something at the General. 
Okay, so he’s only doing his job or whatever, but… sex! I want sex! John-sex, naked, sweat-
Rodney was startled from his thoughts as a firm hand on his elbow drew him forward.  Looking up, he met John’s heated gaze.
“C’mon Rodney, let’s go meet these royals so we can get it over with and get to relaxing,” he said, his voice low.
A warning bell sounded in Rodney’s mind as John pulled him into and through the castle. 
Royals, why is that important? 
The group was ushered into a grand hall where numerous well-dressed people stood. At the sound of a familiar, nasally whine, Rodney suddenly realized why "royal" was important.
“Oh no,” he whispered, the blood draining from his face. “John!” he whispered fiercely.
John turned to look at him. “What?”
“I need to tell you something, it’s important.”
John frowned, but Rodney’s attention was soon diverted by the nasal whine.
“I plan on soon requesting that the Lords of Canada declare Prince Meredith dead so that I may take the throne,” Kavanaugh droned on, ignorant of the annoyed expressions around him.
“Listen, it’s only been five weeks, he could still be alive,” Jeannie countered, her cheeks flushing with anger as tears shimmered in her eyes.  Even the Guardian, who stood by Jeannie, looked angry. 
“Don’t be stupid, Jeannie; he’s dead and you must accept it,” Kavanaugh berated Jeannie.
A wild flame of anger surged through Rodney and as more tears slipped down Jeannie’s face, the rage grew until it was unlike any Rodney had ever felt before. Glaring, he stalked away from John and approached Kavanaugh. Tapping hard on his cousin’s shoulder, Rodney waited until Kavanaugh turned. His cousin barely had time to widen his eyes in horrified surprise before Rodney lashed out with his fist, hitting his cousin with all his might. A loud crack sounded as Kavanaugh’s head snapped back and his eyes rolled up into his head.  He hit the ground with a meaty thunk.
John rushed to Rodney’s side, pulling him away. John’s eyes were wide with horror.
“Rodney, what’s wrong with you? You can’t just punch out the next King of Canada!” John hissed.
Rodney’s stomach sank as he smiled weakly. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a high pitched shriek. He turned to look just as he was rushed by a blond blur.
“Mer!” The Princess who’d been crying only seconds ago was suddenly attached to Rodney, clinging to him like a limpet.  Patting Jeannie’s back with one hand, Rodney nervously raised his other hand, his fingers clenching and unclenching as though seeking to clasp the right words.
“Did I mention that I’m a, uh, Prince?”
* * * * * * * *

Before Rodney had even had a chance to speak to John, the soldier had been whisked away by O'Neill, a confused frown marring John's brow.

After briefing Jeannie and the others, including the Guardian, Rodney had gone up to his guest room to quickly bathe and change.

A knock sounded at the door and Rodney groaned before answering it.  Whoever it was, all they were doing was taking up valuable time that could be used to come up the right words to explain things to John.  But when he answered the door, John was on the other side, cleaned up and wearing a military uniform.  He looked really hot and for a few moments, any non-sex thoughts evaporated from Rodney's mind.  As he continued to stare, John shifted on feet.

"So, Meredith?" John said, raising his hand to nervously rub the back of his neck.

"God, yes, that is my name," Rodney said, wincing.  "I hate it, just call me Rodney, please?"

"Should I call you Prince Rodney?"

Rodney winced again, his fingers twitching.  "Well, technically King Rodney now, I guess."

"Okay, King Rodney," John murmured before clearing his throat.

"Do you want to come in?  I mean, at some point my cousin will come to find me and then he'll start whining and my hand is kind of sore.  My plan was to hide from him," Rodney babbled.

"Yeah, sure." 

John walked in and began to pace as Rodney shut the door.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Well I don't really think of myself as being a royal.  I mean, I spend most of my time in my workshop, I don't do the courtly things I probably should.  And then Sumner said we shouldn't say anything because of the whole possible Wraith spy thing, so no one really said anything about it and I just kind of... forgot."

John nodded before looking down at the ground, scuffing the toe of one boot against the floor.

"Huh.  So, you'll probably get an arranged marriage or something?"

"What? No, ew, I mean, I know members of the Royal families should produce heirs, but no.  Just... no.  I don't even want to be a king, or even a royal.  Well, okay, so the royal part is fine; I mean, if I was anyone else, I'd have to work and wouldn't have so much time for science.  But as soon as Jeannie is 18, that's it!  I'm giving the throne to her."

"Really?  So no wife, no children?"

"Yeah.  I mean, that's right.  Hey, what happened last night was... well, that's makes me definitely not-pro being married to a woman category."

"Yeah, last night," John said as he resumed rubbing his hand at the back of his neck.

Rodney swallowed hard, the distance between them suddenly looming.  "Well, we'd been drinking, so if you don't want to-, I mean, I thought it was great, but it's not a big-."

Relief lit John's eyes, though that expression was soon lost as John rolled his eyes and moved forward and cupped Rodney's face, pulling him closer for a fierce kiss.  After moments that seemed all to short, they finally separated.

"Shut up, your Highness."


I hope you all enjoyed this.  It wasn't always easy to write or find time to write, but it was still a fun little world to live in.

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