Jesus, We ARE Hillbillies

Okay, so a lot has been said about execution showing how backwards the U.S. is as we're one of the only developed nations with the death penalty still in place. So I go to CNN.com, and here are two of the headlines I found:

22 Year Old Man in Jail for Sex With 14 Year Old Bride

37 Year Old Woman Pregnant by 15 Year Old Husband

Okay, so this happened in Nebraska and Georgia, respectively. Is anyone else alarmed by the Red States?

Pimpin'

First Ever Cartoon Strip of The Misadvendtures of One-Eyed Sticky Stickton



This is a comic by my friend Bethany macaroni_thief. It rocks and should be seen by all. ALL!!!!

(no subject)

Okay, so Empire Magazine, the best movie magazine in the world, does this online, Christmas Advent Calander each year. Here are some of the goodies:

Christmas Quotes:
"Now I have a machine gun. Ho. Ho. Ho."

Hans, Die Hard



"Nephew, if I could work my will any idiot who goes around with a Merry Christmas on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart."

Ebenezer Scrooge, The Muppet's Christmas Carol




Cindy Lou Who: "Santa, what's the meaning of Christmas?"
The Grinch: "VENGEANCE! I mean... presents, I suppose"

How The Grinch Stole Christmas


"There's children throwing snowballs / instead of throwing heads / they're busy building toys / and absolutely no one's dead!"

Jack Skellington, A Nightmare Before Christmas

"I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands"

Buddy, Elf

"Who needs Christmas anyway? I say 'Bug Humbar'."

Dick Solomon, 3rd Rock From The Sun


"Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah."

Clark, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation



"If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas.
It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs, and it's gonna happen to us."

Bart, The Simpsons



"Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! "

Sue, Bad Santa


"Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it. "

Kris Kringle, Miracle on 34th Street



"Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan! "

George Bailey, It's A Wonderful Life



"It's Christmas Eve. It's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year we are the people that we always hoped we would be. "

Frank Cross, Scrooged



"This is CHRISTMAS. The season of perpetual hope. And I don't care if I have to get out on your runway and hitchhike. If it costs me everything I own, if I have to sell my soul to the devil himself, I am going to get home to my son."

Kate McCallister, Home Alone



Otis B. Driftwood: "It's all right, tha-that's in every contract. Tha-that's what they call a sanity clause."
Fiorello: "Ha ha ha... you can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause."

A Night At The Opera


"... so if you believe in Christmas, children, like your uncle Billy does, buy my festering turd of a record... "

Billy Mack, Love, Actually