Longing for and avoiding the past.

Well, I've been in class for a week. Dear god, the retardation. The guy heading up the english senior seminar told me that I had to attend the wednesday class at 2. If I didn't, I couldn't graduate. So I went nuts and rearranged my schedule. Only to find out the class was at 3, not 2. Bastards. Luckily, the classes I had to swith offered 2 sections, meaing two of the same class at different times. Administration hurts my soul. I'ma cut it.
Then I found out that my student loan ammount was cut, so I owe money for housing that will take all of the money I saved over the summer for living after graduation. My parents just bought my dad's plane ticket to Denmark- he's going to go visit the family, so they're financially tapped this month and the month my dad is gone. Stupid fafsa fuckers.
Anyways, I've decided to follow Bethany's advice and start writing every day. I have all these ideas that I never put down, and I should. God, tonight we had to go to out living area meeting, and our LGA is annoying. It was an utter waste of an hour. I could have been sleeping or pretending to study. Actually, I forced myself to do the bulk of my homework yesterday so I wouldn't have to do it tonight, because I wouldn't have wanted to. And I don't!
But after a week of class, I don't really have a crush on anyone. It just seems so pointless and futile. And it makes me sad, because I feel like I've given up. I feel resigned to being alone, and while it makes me sad, it makes me feel good. Maybe I've finally become an adult and given up my childhood dreams. It reminds me of a poem I wrote, but I get the distinctive feeling that if I quote it, you'll cut me. Until later.