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vinniebatman) wrote2007-02-25 07:50 pm
vinniebatman) wrote2007-02-25 07:50 pm
Entry tags:
Capitalism and Funny Syphilis 2
Title: Capitalism and Funny Syphilis: In Which the Immortal Four Get Confused
Author: batmanvinnie
Fandom: BtVS/Highlander
Pairings: Xander/Anya (referenced)
Rating/Warnings: This one is teen.
Prompt: A Scooby working at Joe's bar, posted on Twisting the Hellmouth
Disclaimer: I so totally own the show. Bow Down! *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.
Author's Note: Okay, so I'm not majorly into Highlander, but I do watch it when I can catch an episode. Because of that, this occurs in no specific time period, but it is probably before season five; Richie is still alive and no one knows that Methos was one of the horsemen. I don't know of anywhere else to post this here on lj, but it is posted on TtH
$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$ $
Three weeks later, Joe sat at the bar, flipping through the paperwork. The door opened and his first instinct was to yell out "We're closed." But his second instinct was that at noon, it had to be one of his friends, not a customer. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Adam saunter in.
"Well, look who decided to grace me with his presence. How are you?" Adam quickly shook Joe's hand, then shed his overcoat and walked behind the bar.
"I'm doing quite well, just got into town two days ago and Duncan wanted to meet with me. Do you mind?" he asked, gesturing to the tap.
"Go ahead." Adam pulled himself a pint of beer, then sat beside Joe. The immortal took a long drink, savoring the beer.
"Yeah, Richie said Duncan and Amanda were getting in today." Adam glanced at Joe's papers.
"So, what is all of that? Tax forms? Journals? Naughty pictures?" he asked. Shifting his coat, he made ready to grab the hilt of his sword. He felt the buzz of approaching immortals, probably the others. But it didn't hurt to be prepared.
Joe sighed. "Unfortunately not, I'm just checking over Anya's numbers."
"Ah yes, Anya, you're new assistant. I spoke with Richie on the phone last week; he mentioned her. I believe his words were 'cute but weird.'"
Joe laughed. "That's her alright. She's an odd one. And you won't believe where she's from: Sunnydale."
"The Hellmouth?" Adam whistled. "That's incredible."
"What's incredible?" The two men turned to the door to see Richie, Duncan, and Amanda walk in.
"What's incredible?" Richie asked again as he sat at the bar.
"Anya," Joe said.
The young immortal grinned. "Yeah, she really is. She's really funny and smart. And she's pretty cute."
"We're thinking so because of her home town, not her face," Adam said wryly.
"Home town?" Duncan frowned.
"She's from Sunnydale," Joe said, pretending to flip through his papers nonchalantly while waiting for their reactions.
"The Hellmouth?" Amanda whispered, her eyes wide.
"Is she evil?" Duncan asked.
Richie scratched his head. "What's a Hellmouth?"
Adam smiled. "The Boca Del Inferno, the Mouth of Hell. It is a place where the boundaries between hell and earth are the thinnest. Sunnydale is, well, was the most active Hellmouth in over eight hundred years. Vampires and demons flocked to it, drawn by it's energy."
"Was? What happened to it?" Amanda asked.
"The Slayer and her watcher closed it somehow," Adam explained before taking another drink from his glass.
"Wait, now I'm confused," Richie said. "I thought you said that the Slayer wasn't immortal, so why does she have a watcher?"
"Different kind of watcher. Originally, all watchers were from the same organization, dedicated to keeping tabs on the hidden side of existence. But because the Slayer's purpose is the protection of the world, their watchers helped them out. Eventually the organizations got so large and different that they separated about four hundred years ago," Joe explained.
Richie nodded. "So, when does Anya get here?"
Joe smirked. "She's supposed to get here at three to help get things ready, but she's already in the back, organizing the money in the safe. She likes to touch the money before work."
"Why?" Adam laughed.
"The girl loves her money; I get nervous being in the same room as her and money. She gets... overly excited and happy around the money. Kinda scares me, but in the end she's actually been a big help. Not only is she a good bartender, she's got a head for figures and isn't afraid of throwing out the drunks. She's actually pretty intimidating and comes up with some really creative threats."
"Well, as fascinating as all of that is, why did you call me here, MacLeod?" Adam asked. Duncan looked around quickly before speaking.
"Something strange is happening. Ever since the Hellmouth closed last spring, there have been more vampires in Seacouver."
"Yeah, I've run into ten is the past couple weeks alone," Richie added. "But on the plus side, I think I've gotten a lot better at beheading things, and I only died twice figuring it out."
"But there are still a lot out there, and they aren't something the police can deal with," Duncan explained.
"And you want us to play Slayer," Adam groaned. The door to the back room opened and the four immortals froze, watching as Anya walked up to the cash register, carrying a bank bag.
"Hi!" she chirped, opening the register. The immortals nodded while Richie grinned. "So how are you today?"
"Good," Duncan said, eying her warily.
"Fine," Amanda said.
"Alive," Adam muttered into his beer.
"We're all fine," Richie said, still smiling.
"That's great," Anya said, humming while she sorted the money into the till. The four immortals tabled their conversation, but the dark look Duncan shot them promised further discussion. After she closed the register, Anya looked the group over before her gaze landed on Duncan. Her eyes widened comically, turning from Duncan to Amanda to Adam, then back again. Duncan frowned.
"I'm sorry, have we met before?" he asked; the girl seemed familiar.
"Yeah, you do seem familiar," Amanda added. Anya blanched.
"No, no way we could have met, I would have remembered meeting you. You just remind me of someone I, uh, gave me orgasms once. In Mexico. Have you been to Mexico lately? Well, not lately, it was probably several years ago, but I was only eighteen then," she babbled, moving away from the counter. Turning quickly, she moved into the back room.
"I'm going to go take inventory, Joe," she yelled as she left the room.
"You took inventory yesterday!" Joe yelled back. He didn't get an answer.
"See Adam? Cute but weird," Richie muttered.
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
It was after three in the morning when the four immortals walked through the quiet side streets, swords at the ready. Fog had rolled in, swirling around them.
"Well this was a brilliant idea," Adam muttered. "I'm sure that the vampires will just come running towards four armed people stalking through the fog."
Amanda snorted. "Yes, we just look so tasty and vulnerable."
"Quiet," Duncan growled, nodding his head toward Richie.
Adam frowned, then burst out laughing. "Ah yes, that's right; Richie's just been fighting them off lately. Apparently you make a good target. I guess vampires think you're just too tasty to pass up."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm just a yummy treat," Richie grumbled.
"Sure seem like one to me," a voice growled. The four immortals spun, quickly unsheathing their blades. They faced a group of seven vampires, their distorted faces in shadow, interrupted by the flashing gold of their eyes. One vampire stood in the front, the largest of the group.
"Uh, Stan, since when do humans get weapons?" one of the smaller ones asked. Another scratched his head before speaking.
"Guess they fancy themselves demon hunters."
"Doesn't matter; soup's on boys," growled the leader. The vampires charged, snarling. Duncan moved to the front, challenging the leader. The leader surged toward Duncan, expecting the seemingly normal human to go for a body wound. But Duncan brought his sword up, swinging at the vampire's neck. The vampire's head separated before dropping away as dust. Amanda quickly parried her attackers, hacking off their hands to limit their options. Then, when they were unable to grab at her, she moved in for the kill. Richie delivered bold stabs, driving into their chests and throats, trying to cause distracting secondary damage. But Adam moved quickly, accustomed to fighting the undead. He danced away from them, then quickly moved behind them and cleaved head from torso. Two then charged Richie, pushing him against the wall.
"Duncan!" he yelled, panicked as the vampires held his arms down with inhuman strength. The other three immortals quickly glanced up from their respective battles, wincing as the vampires opened their mouths to bite. Then, they watched in surprise as a crossbow dart slammed into one, dusting it. Using his free hand, Richie pushed it away and raised his sword, slitting the vampires throat. It didn't kill it, but the maneuver did force it back, giving Richie a chance to raise his sword and behead it. Another crossbow dart killed one of the few remaining, while Methos and Amanda killed the last one together.
"Well that was fun," Anya muttered sarcastically. The four turned to face her.
"Anya?" Richie whispered, looking at the bartender who had a sword strapped to her waist and carried a crossbow.
"Yeah, I heard you guys walking around. I usually just walk around on the rooftops and pick them off, but I figured I'd follow you. Safety in numbers. And I wouldn't worry about the vampires anymore. I sent an email to the Council a couple weeks ago, so they'll probably send a slayer soon. I just hope it isn't Kennedy."
Adam laughed disbelievingly, his eyes wide. "You know the Slayers?"
"Well, yeah, I went to the prom with one of the head Slayer's friends," she said wistfully.
"It seems there's a bit more to you than we thought, Miss Jenkins," Duncan said, studying her carefully. The smile dropped from Anya's face.
"Well you don't need to worry about me, I'm just an average woman, nothing interesting about me. Just grew up on the Mouth of Hell, where you have to learn about this stuff, I mean the Mayor ascended during our graduation. I wasn't there, of course; I got the hell out of town. What time is it?" she asked suddenly. Richie checked his watched.
"Almost four." Anya nodded.
"Okay, well I'm going to go catch a cab and get home," she said quickly, backing away from the group and disappearing into the fog.
"I'd better follow her, make sure nothing gets her," Richie said, moving after her.
"I know I've seen her before," Duncan mused. Amanda nodded.
"Well, I think Anya has the right idea. I'll be heading home," Adam said, grinning. As he left his friends behind, he chuckled. "Definitely cute but weird."
Author: batmanvinnie
Fandom: BtVS/Highlander
Pairings: Xander/Anya (referenced)
Rating/Warnings: This one is teen.
Prompt: A Scooby working at Joe's bar, posted on Twisting the Hellmouth
Disclaimer: I so totally own the show. Bow Down! *Doctor's Note: Patient exhibits delusions of grandeur and any claims of ownership are pure fantasy. No harm is meant. Seriously, it's better than her throwing rocks at people.
Author's Note: Okay, so I'm not majorly into Highlander, but I do watch it when I can catch an episode. Because of that, this occurs in no specific time period, but it is probably before season five; Richie is still alive and no one knows that Methos was one of the horsemen. I don't know of anywhere else to post this here on lj, but it is posted on TtH
$ $ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$ $ $$ $
Three weeks later, Joe sat at the bar, flipping through the paperwork. The door opened and his first instinct was to yell out "We're closed." But his second instinct was that at noon, it had to be one of his friends, not a customer. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Adam saunter in.
"Well, look who decided to grace me with his presence. How are you?" Adam quickly shook Joe's hand, then shed his overcoat and walked behind the bar.
"I'm doing quite well, just got into town two days ago and Duncan wanted to meet with me. Do you mind?" he asked, gesturing to the tap.
"Go ahead." Adam pulled himself a pint of beer, then sat beside Joe. The immortal took a long drink, savoring the beer.
"Yeah, Richie said Duncan and Amanda were getting in today." Adam glanced at Joe's papers.
"So, what is all of that? Tax forms? Journals? Naughty pictures?" he asked. Shifting his coat, he made ready to grab the hilt of his sword. He felt the buzz of approaching immortals, probably the others. But it didn't hurt to be prepared.
Joe sighed. "Unfortunately not, I'm just checking over Anya's numbers."
"Ah yes, Anya, you're new assistant. I spoke with Richie on the phone last week; he mentioned her. I believe his words were 'cute but weird.'"
Joe laughed. "That's her alright. She's an odd one. And you won't believe where she's from: Sunnydale."
"The Hellmouth?" Adam whistled. "That's incredible."
"What's incredible?" The two men turned to the door to see Richie, Duncan, and Amanda walk in.
"What's incredible?" Richie asked again as he sat at the bar.
"Anya," Joe said.
The young immortal grinned. "Yeah, she really is. She's really funny and smart. And she's pretty cute."
"We're thinking so because of her home town, not her face," Adam said wryly.
"Home town?" Duncan frowned.
"She's from Sunnydale," Joe said, pretending to flip through his papers nonchalantly while waiting for their reactions.
"The Hellmouth?" Amanda whispered, her eyes wide.
"Is she evil?" Duncan asked.
Richie scratched his head. "What's a Hellmouth?"
Adam smiled. "The Boca Del Inferno, the Mouth of Hell. It is a place where the boundaries between hell and earth are the thinnest. Sunnydale is, well, was the most active Hellmouth in over eight hundred years. Vampires and demons flocked to it, drawn by it's energy."
"Was? What happened to it?" Amanda asked.
"The Slayer and her watcher closed it somehow," Adam explained before taking another drink from his glass.
"Wait, now I'm confused," Richie said. "I thought you said that the Slayer wasn't immortal, so why does she have a watcher?"
"Different kind of watcher. Originally, all watchers were from the same organization, dedicated to keeping tabs on the hidden side of existence. But because the Slayer's purpose is the protection of the world, their watchers helped them out. Eventually the organizations got so large and different that they separated about four hundred years ago," Joe explained.
Richie nodded. "So, when does Anya get here?"
Joe smirked. "She's supposed to get here at three to help get things ready, but she's already in the back, organizing the money in the safe. She likes to touch the money before work."
"Why?" Adam laughed.
"The girl loves her money; I get nervous being in the same room as her and money. She gets... overly excited and happy around the money. Kinda scares me, but in the end she's actually been a big help. Not only is she a good bartender, she's got a head for figures and isn't afraid of throwing out the drunks. She's actually pretty intimidating and comes up with some really creative threats."
"Well, as fascinating as all of that is, why did you call me here, MacLeod?" Adam asked. Duncan looked around quickly before speaking.
"Something strange is happening. Ever since the Hellmouth closed last spring, there have been more vampires in Seacouver."
"Yeah, I've run into ten is the past couple weeks alone," Richie added. "But on the plus side, I think I've gotten a lot better at beheading things, and I only died twice figuring it out."
"But there are still a lot out there, and they aren't something the police can deal with," Duncan explained.
"And you want us to play Slayer," Adam groaned. The door to the back room opened and the four immortals froze, watching as Anya walked up to the cash register, carrying a bank bag.
"Hi!" she chirped, opening the register. The immortals nodded while Richie grinned. "So how are you today?"
"Good," Duncan said, eying her warily.
"Fine," Amanda said.
"Alive," Adam muttered into his beer.
"We're all fine," Richie said, still smiling.
"That's great," Anya said, humming while she sorted the money into the till. The four immortals tabled their conversation, but the dark look Duncan shot them promised further discussion. After she closed the register, Anya looked the group over before her gaze landed on Duncan. Her eyes widened comically, turning from Duncan to Amanda to Adam, then back again. Duncan frowned.
"I'm sorry, have we met before?" he asked; the girl seemed familiar.
"Yeah, you do seem familiar," Amanda added. Anya blanched.
"No, no way we could have met, I would have remembered meeting you. You just remind me of someone I, uh, gave me orgasms once. In Mexico. Have you been to Mexico lately? Well, not lately, it was probably several years ago, but I was only eighteen then," she babbled, moving away from the counter. Turning quickly, she moved into the back room.
"I'm going to go take inventory, Joe," she yelled as she left the room.
"You took inventory yesterday!" Joe yelled back. He didn't get an answer.
"See Adam? Cute but weird," Richie muttered.
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
It was after three in the morning when the four immortals walked through the quiet side streets, swords at the ready. Fog had rolled in, swirling around them.
"Well this was a brilliant idea," Adam muttered. "I'm sure that the vampires will just come running towards four armed people stalking through the fog."
Amanda snorted. "Yes, we just look so tasty and vulnerable."
"Quiet," Duncan growled, nodding his head toward Richie.
Adam frowned, then burst out laughing. "Ah yes, that's right; Richie's just been fighting them off lately. Apparently you make a good target. I guess vampires think you're just too tasty to pass up."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm just a yummy treat," Richie grumbled.
"Sure seem like one to me," a voice growled. The four immortals spun, quickly unsheathing their blades. They faced a group of seven vampires, their distorted faces in shadow, interrupted by the flashing gold of their eyes. One vampire stood in the front, the largest of the group.
"Uh, Stan, since when do humans get weapons?" one of the smaller ones asked. Another scratched his head before speaking.
"Guess they fancy themselves demon hunters."
"Doesn't matter; soup's on boys," growled the leader. The vampires charged, snarling. Duncan moved to the front, challenging the leader. The leader surged toward Duncan, expecting the seemingly normal human to go for a body wound. But Duncan brought his sword up, swinging at the vampire's neck. The vampire's head separated before dropping away as dust. Amanda quickly parried her attackers, hacking off their hands to limit their options. Then, when they were unable to grab at her, she moved in for the kill. Richie delivered bold stabs, driving into their chests and throats, trying to cause distracting secondary damage. But Adam moved quickly, accustomed to fighting the undead. He danced away from them, then quickly moved behind them and cleaved head from torso. Two then charged Richie, pushing him against the wall.
"Duncan!" he yelled, panicked as the vampires held his arms down with inhuman strength. The other three immortals quickly glanced up from their respective battles, wincing as the vampires opened their mouths to bite. Then, they watched in surprise as a crossbow dart slammed into one, dusting it. Using his free hand, Richie pushed it away and raised his sword, slitting the vampires throat. It didn't kill it, but the maneuver did force it back, giving Richie a chance to raise his sword and behead it. Another crossbow dart killed one of the few remaining, while Methos and Amanda killed the last one together.
"Well that was fun," Anya muttered sarcastically. The four turned to face her.
"Anya?" Richie whispered, looking at the bartender who had a sword strapped to her waist and carried a crossbow.
"Yeah, I heard you guys walking around. I usually just walk around on the rooftops and pick them off, but I figured I'd follow you. Safety in numbers. And I wouldn't worry about the vampires anymore. I sent an email to the Council a couple weeks ago, so they'll probably send a slayer soon. I just hope it isn't Kennedy."
Adam laughed disbelievingly, his eyes wide. "You know the Slayers?"
"Well, yeah, I went to the prom with one of the head Slayer's friends," she said wistfully.
"It seems there's a bit more to you than we thought, Miss Jenkins," Duncan said, studying her carefully. The smile dropped from Anya's face.
"Well you don't need to worry about me, I'm just an average woman, nothing interesting about me. Just grew up on the Mouth of Hell, where you have to learn about this stuff, I mean the Mayor ascended during our graduation. I wasn't there, of course; I got the hell out of town. What time is it?" she asked suddenly. Richie checked his watched.
"Almost four." Anya nodded.
"Okay, well I'm going to go catch a cab and get home," she said quickly, backing away from the group and disappearing into the fog.
"I'd better follow her, make sure nothing gets her," Richie said, moving after her.
"I know I've seen her before," Duncan mused. Amanda nodded.
"Well, I think Anya has the right idea. I'll be heading home," Adam said, grinning. As he left his friends behind, he chuckled. "Definitely cute but weird."