Evidence

Jun. 5th, 2006 10:47 pm
[personal profile] vinniebatman
 This is a short fic I wrote for another community; it isn't smutty, but it is a bit angsty.  Hope you like it!



Title: Evidence
Author: vinniebatman
Fandom: Firefly
Pairing/Character: Mal/Simon
Rating/Warnings: Um, not naughty?  Teen, I guess
Prompt: When she doesn't respond, I know/ she's used up all her words/ so I slowly whisper I love you, /thirty-two and a third times. ~Jeffery McDaniel // The Quiet World
Summary:
Disclaimer: I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him.  I now own all.  Thank you.
A/N: Originally, this was going to be a total downer, but it kinda changed on me.  I hope it isn't too schmaltzy.  Written for the community [profile] fanfic_fiesta

"This isn't just sex," I tell him.  Sweat and come cool on our bodies, turning us sticky as lungs gasp for air.  He freezes next to me.  Tension lines his body, stiffening muscles that were loose only ten seconds ago.

"Don't tell me you believe  that go se in those books Kaylee likes to read."

I laugh.  "I am aware of the fact that true romance only rarely involves flowery declarations of love.  I can assure that I have no intention of breaking down crying, swooning or putting on a ruffled dress, Mal."

He laughs, but it's short and forced.  I continue.  "But this isn't just sex."

The thin smile on his face disappears.

"No, Doc.  That's exactly what this is," he growls, moving from his bunk to quickly don the pants I'd peeled off of him only a short time ago.  In the space of two minutes we go from "Simon" to "Doc," a return to the cold formality Mal favors when shaken.  The distance he's trying to wedge between us is almost tangible.  He doesn't want to hear me so he turns and faces his desk, fiddling with various items.  "All I'm offerin' is a quick rut now and again.  You want love, go an' see little Kaylee.  She's still chasin' that fairytale."

"So River lied when she said you watch me, that you only sleep when I'm in your bed."

He swallows hard and flares his nostrils.

"Guess you need to teach your sister that lyin's wrong."

"And Zoe and Kaylee."  Mal stops moving completely, pretending I'm not in the room.  He thinks he's worthless, a charred shell of death with a beating heart.  He thinks that if he tells me it's just sex, I'll believe it and move on from him someday.  But I know better; it isn't just my sister and Zoe and Kaylee; I see it in his eyes too.  A warmth that shows his soul healing from the death and pain of his past, an affection that I've never seen him direct towards anyone else.  I see the circles under his eyes, the weary thunk of his footfalls after we've separated for a night.

"This isn't just sex, Mal.  Yes, it is lust and passion, but there's comfort and safety and familiarity.  This is what love really is.  It isn't some grand romantic gesture and continual passion.  It's passion with warmth and comfort."

He doesn't answer me; he's still too afraid and he's used up all his words for the night.  I pull on my clothes in silence, observing the steel tension in his body.  Dressed, I walk up behind him and rest my hand on his shoulder.  He's staring at a random piece of paper clenched in his fist.  He doesn't move, just ignores me.  Sighing, I rest my forehead against his back.

"I love you, Mal.  I love this mean old man.  I love you."  I keep whispering to him, repeating those three words.  They're my litany, a ceaseless prayer for him to trust me.

But he doesn't turn around, doesn't believe me, won't dare to believe that I choose him.  Turning from him, I leave his bunk, the door slamming shut with a hollow clang.  I'll give him the night to think.  But there isn't anyplace he can truly hide on a ship in the black.  I'll find him and tell him thirty times everyday, until one day he has enough evidence to believe me.

Date: 2006-06-06 08:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kryptonstar18.livejournal.com
Excellent! Very much in character, especially Mal.

Date: 2006-06-06 04:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Thanks. I kind of like the idea of writing Simon as the bold one; in this case he'd have to be.

Date: 2006-06-07 06:48 am (UTC)
vae: (mal/simon)
From: [personal profile] vae
I know it's from the prompt, but I love how you used "he's used up all his words for the night". It's very Mal.

Couple of nitpicks - sorry!
involvles - should be "involves"
chared - should probably be "charred"
Its passion - should be "It's passion"
ceasless - should be "ceaseless"
believ - should be "believe"

Forgive me - spelling errors just throw me out of a fic and you've got a great flow to this. Feel free to ignore/delete this.

Date: 2006-06-07 04:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I have really rotten luck when it comes to betas. I can't ever find one, so its usually just my own eyes checking things.

Also, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've loved the poem for so long that when I got to pick the prompt, the poem sprang to mind.

Date: 2006-06-08 06:34 am (UTC)
vae: (mal/simon)
From: [personal profile] vae
have you tried [livejournal.com profile] firefly_beta? That's where I go when [livejournal.com profile] lvs2read can't beta my work *g*

Date: 2006-06-08 07:19 am (UTC)
vae: (Default)
From: [personal profile] vae
sorry, that should be [livejournal.com profile] fireflybeta

Date: 2006-06-07 11:42 pm (UTC)
ext_28111: freakin' zombies (Mal & Simon so close - seanarenay)
From: [identity profile] scifiroots.livejournal.com
Do you know the whole poem? It's really interesting. Someone in my fiction workshop this past semester shared it on our last day and I was absolutely fascinated... lovely what you did with the prompt. ^___^

Date: 2006-06-07 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] batmanvinnie.livejournal.com
Um, I found the copy of it online, but I posted it in my personal life journal. Here's a link to read it.

http://batmanvinnie.livejournal.com/46286.html

Thanks for your FB. I like your stuff, so I feel all happy about your compliment.

Date: 2006-06-07 11:52 pm (UTC)
ext_28111: freakin' zombies (River sessions - fairy_icon)
From: [identity profile] scifiroots.livejournal.com
aww shucks. We all gotta support one 'nother. And thanks for the link, I might use it for something or another one day. ^_~

Date: 2006-06-08 12:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
I was fortunate enough that a sardonic, but highly attractive slam poet read it aloud to the class. I think that might be why I remember it so fondly *sighs*

Date: 2006-06-09 03:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lit-gal.livejournal.com
Weeee.. you offered to help with running the Rerun awards. I adore you. Anyway, email me for the down and dirty details

litgal1@gmail.com

Date: 2006-06-09 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
wee... I adore you too! Love your stories, and you got me into Sentinel stories.

Date: 2006-06-13 04:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lvs2read.livejournal.com
I really like this. So bittersweeet. And Simon's absolutely right, that's what love really is. Hopefully, one day Mal will realize it too. Well done!

Date: 2006-06-13 04:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Yeah, Mal seems to be an utter git. He wants everyone to believe he's mr. meany-butt crabby-pants. But he isn't. *blushes*
I'm glad you liked it, thanks for the FB

Date: 2006-09-04 06:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apsik.livejournal.com
poor Mal... good thing Simon's one determined bastard ;)

Nice fic, I liked it :)

Date: 2006-09-04 08:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. I feel that Mal is pretty closed off from his bad experiences. Simon is more open. He's been burned by the government, but not romantically. I'm so glad you liked it!

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