[personal profile] vinniebatman
Title:  Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Slashies...
Author: vinniebatman aka batmanvinnie
Fandom: SGA
Pairings/Characters: Hints of McShep, Shep/Dex, McShep/Dex, Shep/P-90, Shep/Tree
Rating/Warnings:  Teen, references to masturbation, threesomes, slash, and crazy un-betaed writing.
Summary:  Rodney explains the fandom to Ronon and Teyla.  Of course, this bit of SGA insanity was inspired  [personal profile] suki_blue.  Please forgive my lame attempt at script formatting.  All characters in this stereotypically in character and exaggerated.
Disclaimer: I conquered the world AND the Pegasus Galaxy.  I now own all. Thank you.   Or not. 

Cast of Characters:
a genius/brat (most likely writes slash)
JOHN SHEPPARD: Slut, er, I mean man-ho, no, um, wait, soldier? (most likely gay)
RONON DEX: Resident caveman (most likely well-hung)
TEYLA EMMAGEN: Native guide, resident babe (most likely not getting any this story)
P-90: A gun (most likely non-sentient

Setting: The forrest of a random planet, one which bears a striking and surprising resemblence to Vancouver.  Our Noble Heroes (TM) sit around a campfire. 
JS: *leers at P-90*  These stories are mostly for enterainment, but they are also serve as fables.  These stories are the basis of our morals.
TE: So an unnaturally strong man, fighting to save those who are weaker, are the basis of your modern culture?
RM: Well, yes. You see the specifics aren't important; after all, the logistics of Superman ever having sex with someone are horrifying!
RD: *grunts* Uh?
TE: But the woman, the fighter of the Goddess, could not mate with him?
RM: Well theoretically he could, but he wouldn't.
TE: Why not?
JS: *Leers at RM* Yeah RODNEY, why not why wouldn't Superman get jiggy with Wonder Woman? 
RM: Jiggy?  This 2006 and you aren't Will Smith.  And it's quite obvious Superman is gay.
JS: Gay? *cuddles P-90*
RM: *irritated* Yes!
RD: *grunts*  Uh.
P-90:  ....
JS: *Leers at RD, pauses, then turns and leers at RM*  Wait a minute, you're one of those, hell, what are they called? Slashies?
RM: *rolls eyes* Not as such. I mean, not it's like I write fanfic or anything.
TE: *Eyebrow of Doom (TM)* Slashies? What are they?
JS: Nerds who think everyone on every show are gay. *leers at tree*
RM: Okay, first of all, it's slashers, not slashies.  And it's not just a show, it can be a movie or a book or a comic book.  And they are fans, usually of a certain work of fiction, which they call a fandom.  And they don't think everyone is gay... usually just the attractive people.
TE: *Eyebrow of Doom (TM)*
JS: *copies TE's Eyebrow of Doom (TM)*
RD: *grunts* Uh?
RM: *nervous*  WHAT?!
P-90: ....
TE: So you find Super-Man attractive?
RM: *whimpers*  Uhh... maybe?
JS:  You know, I think I forgot one of the tents....  Two of us will have to share.
TE: *Eyebrow of Doom (TM)* 
RD: *grunts at JS* 
RM: *looks at rock*
JS: *leers at RM*
RD: *grunts at RM*  Uhhhhh....
JS: *leers at RD* Maybe I forgot two of the tents... *leers at P-90*
TE: *looks at RD, then JS, then RM*  So the slashies were correct then.  Damn. *leers at fighting stick*

Date: 2007-02-07 11:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kibou-sueshijuu.livejournal.com
haha, very cute. ^.^

Date: 2007-02-08 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Glad it amused you. thanks for the feedback.

Date: 2007-02-07 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] amejisuto.livejournal.com
HEE! Too funny! Nice crack!fic luv!

Oh, here's a treat for you:

Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex.

Date: 2007-02-08 12:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
OH, I've read that before.
HIlarious. Glad you enjoyed the crack.

Date: 2007-02-08 03:59 pm (UTC)
ext_11979: (David kissing by _wwsd_)
From: [identity profile] suki-blue.livejournal.com
LMAO! What is Teyla gonna do with that fighting stick?!?!?! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

That was so funny! I love that John leers at just about everyone.


Date: 2007-02-08 04:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
Yeah, I started out making this semi serious, but I just kinda lost it and decided that if its stereotypical manslut!John, then he wouldn't hit on teyla. The P-90? Maybe. Glad it tickled your funny bone. Now stop inspiring SGA stuff! I've got BtVS stuff to write, damnit!

Date: 2007-02-09 03:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] raiining.livejournal.com

:oh ... my poor brain ...

JS: *leers at P-90*

This was far too funny. I may have to show it to my non-fandom-non-slashy friends so they can understand absolutely nothing about my hobby. Just to see their expressions of total and complete horror. :D

Date: 2007-02-09 04:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vinniebatman.livejournal.com
I am delighted that you dug the insanity. It was wierd, but fun to write. thanks for the feedback.



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